


lemontopia

by dohkyan



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Minor Reference to Drugs, Romance, Utopia But Not Really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-12-20 21:04:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 32,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11929242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dohkyan/pseuds/dohkyan
Summary: Domes smell like plastic mint and eucalyptus, but at least, Baekhyun's scent is strawberries and Spring.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to J & L. Ls you have my eternal gratitude, and thank you mods for being that patient with me, you are the best ♡  
> This was quite a ride, and I'm truly sorry the next chapter feels rushed.

As usual, Kyungsoo wakes up after the second beep of the alarm.

When he turns it off, the apartment starts to gather on his awaken presence. The blinds of the main squared window fold slightly, the hum of the air conditioner is replaced by that of the humidifier, and everything else follows its own course.

The fair light sneaking through the blinds, the silence, and the mild temperature surrounding him give the room a serene feeling. It settles into his bones and cold skin before disappearing, leaving only sluggishness behind. He yawns and lies still for some minutes, with every part of his body slightly numb and heavy.

There is another type of alarm that goes off on his phone –the one he has been hearing for the past seven months. It only beeps twice, but he already knows the meaning of it.

Five months are now left in his life span.

After several thousands of years of contamination, nature can’t produce the amount of oxygen everybody needs by itself anymore. Adaptation, or _evolution_ as everyone likes to call it, has made humans develop a green thumb to survive in such conditions. Furthermore, humanity has moved to inhabit domes –constructed and designed to hold the oxygen produced inside them.

Each colony has a system, or variants of some, but all of them share one rule strictly. For every seed anyone plants and grows for two weeks, a month will be added to their life span. Almost no one cares about the implications of not planting a thing, because everyone can do so for a very low price.

Everyone except for a few individuals like Kyungsoo, who somehow manage to kill everything they plant within days. Enough years have passed since the domes have been built, and yet, there is no actual reason or “cure” for that condition. There is no apparent way to help them.

Kyungsoo doesn’t want help anyway.

The thought of dying is definitely not appealing, but he can’t bring himself to care right now. Perhaps when there is just a month left, he will worry about it, but for now, he won’t move a finger to change the predicament.

Eventually, he sits up, stretches a bit and takes a look at the window. The first sight of the morning seems to be up-and-coming with fresh daylight. He gets out of the bed, cold running through his bare feet as he heads towards the shower. There, hot water falls over his body; it would be quite relaxing, if it wasn’t for the mint scented steam that rises along with it. That scent stays even after he is done shaving.

What follows is the same old routine of dressing up at the “simple but practical” fashion that is barely seen anywhere in the dome –black jeans with a black cotton turtleneck, all tucked under a black coat, plus black boots and black spectacles.

Breakfast usually consists of some toasts and orange juice, with its artificial flavor lingering at the tip of his tongue for hours. In some days like today, whichever kind of yogurt he can find in the refrigerator will do before coming out of the apartment.

Outside, each hall and each corner are full of plants, from which he barely remembers half of the names. He pays no attention to those and walks by the five more doors of his floor before getting in the elevator –with the fresh scent of plastic picking his nose and the faint elevator music trying to drive him mad.

First floor is, as always, empty with only a lone staff in that ugly silver uniform at the reception. Every day, Kyungsoo greets her before passing his golden card through the electronic lock, ready to take his leave. In the parking lot, he takes the hold of his bike –a golden one with a basket at the back, perfect for his portfolio– and heads towards work.

At least, he knows how to ride a bike. If not, he would be totally useless in this colony, where there is no other transportation method.

Inside domes, every house, skyscraper, and place blends in between nature and technology. It’s like a perfectly organized combination of the white polished tones in buildings and green flora, with hues of different colors in a lesser amount. Along that, the scents are particularly vibrant, even if the streets usually smell like soap.

There is no sidewalk without trees, house without garden, nor skyscraper without a vine dangling from somewhere. It has come to the point where plants are also used in decorations, clothing, food, art, and so on –sometimes in the most extravagant ways.

It’s a pretty view, but it always reminds Kyungsoo that, for some, plants are no more than a status item there. People showing off their flowers or trees, for example, and then throwing them away when they are out of season is pretty common. It’s almost as if they have forgotten there is an actual problem out there, which rangers –commonly known as foresters– try to solve by growing _anything_ in the worst conditions.

To complain about it is useless, but that’s the only thing Kyungsoo can do, because he still needs to live somewhere. It’s not like he could go outside to have a happy sappy life with the cracked, dried floors and the acid rain.

Or maybe he could. But enough of that.

Kyungsoo lives not too far away from the center of the dome, but its limits have always been the interesting part of it. There, the desertic panorama surrounding the colony can be perfectly seen through the glass. As people may convey, it’s either ugly or a magnificent rusty view. It’s still the constant reminder people didn’t care much about the environment before, though.

Chanyeol used to talk about second chances, about how lessons are learned everyday, and even more positive things when he inspected the sunflowers on his window. Kyungsoo liked the view of Chanyeol watering flowers against the sunlight –with his green fashion and ashy hair, and the light contrasting his frame. It would make him feel a bit more optimistic about the situation.

Kyungsoo has always been careless about it. But as his lifespan is reducing, it gets rather bitter. Solitude gives you time to think a lot.

His morning destination never changes. From Monday to Friday, he heads to the biggest skyscraper from the colony, the heart of the dome, his current workplace. It’s warmly called tower #274B –plus more irrelevant numbers– in “honor” of its own dome. No one needs to learn that name anyway. This glass half-sphere will be their whole world, forever.

Kyungsoo is a lucky man, or so his coworkers say because, at the young age of 25, he has already lived in two domes. He doesn’t mind it at all, even when the situation could be otherwise.

To work in the logistics department never gives a lot to talk about. It’s the same quiet space that Kyungsoo would have grown fond of in any other time, with actually likable coworkers and the same simple problems here and there.

Weekdays are usually slow, but it’s fine eventually. He will make his way home around six p.m. and get something simple for dinner. Cooking was his actual skill –one that he was pretty grateful for– but now that he is tired, he will get take-out and call it a day.

Standing in the kitchen, arms over the counter, he will roll the noodles around his chopsticks and eat enough for a Friday. Saturdays are for pilates, going to the market and rest. Sundays are for the animal shelter and whatever else coming his way. Friday nights, though, those are for sleeping.

The exciting routine of an apparently dying man has its charms.

It might be different today, since there is someone waiting outside the neighbor next door’s apartment when he returns from work.

If there is something Kyungsoo actually hates about his apartment complex, it is the penthouse right above it, at the top-floor. He hates to even think about it, but to know there is something _that_ superficial over him suffocates him. Not that the colony, in general, isn’t superficial enough.

Anyone that can live there, will be the representation of everything Kyungsoo despises to the core. From the eccentric and stupidly expensive clothes, to the exuberant plants of which seeds are brought from other far domes, to the blinding and prideful structure, to the pool or whatever they may have up there. Every penthouse owner is the same, no one is an exception to his golden rule. If someone has enough money and taste for it, that someone must be an asshole.

Kyungsoo supposes he is right with the current one as well.

Baekhyun, his _neighbor_ , is merely a 21 years old boy –whose parents are never home, and who keeps knocking next door to ask for pretty basic stuff. He is around Kyungsoo’s height, but skinnier and fairer, with freckles, auburn hair always tousled, and a different look every single day –sometimes including glasses, which Kyungsoo is more than sure he doesn’t need at all.

Mrs. Kim –the actual victim of this mess– is a gentle and kind old lady that never fails to open the door for him. She can be chatty and might have given Kyungsoo information about Baekhyun he didn’t ask for, and vice versa. But no one can blame her for being that attentive. Honestly, Kyungsoo feels bad that she has somehow managed to fit in a grandmother role for Baekhyun.

Kyungsoo would laugh about it, thinking that at his age, he could have easily lived on his own, working and studying at the same time. However, as soon as he would get inside his apartment, he would feel bad about it. Not everyone has been raised the same way as him and he knows it. Baekhyun’s parents are never to be seen today, and he can’t imagine if they were there even before. At least, Kyungsoo had parents and a big brother that would teach him everything he needed to know.

It drives Kyungsoo mad, because then he remembers again that Baekhyun is the embodiment of everything bad in the world –superficial, obnoxious, spending his days without working nor studying, probably floating in the pool the whole afternoon, no actual care for his surroundings whatsoever.

But again, he is too old to target someone like that.

“Hello,” Baekhyun says, snapping his attention back to the hall. He is leaning against the wall, wearing a pastel blue sweater with transparent fabric above –carrying small flower petals in between– white shorts above his knee line that might turn litmus in any minute, and white shoes that shine every few seconds. And that’s the _haute couture_ of modern times.

He is also holding a well-known black backpack that glints from time to time drawing the constellations. Kyungsoo thought it was a nice bag once, until it turned out to be just another popular item, and then he couldn’t help but despise it.

Sometimes he wonders why can’t he enjoy being a consumerist man at least once. Not that he craves for it, but Baekhyun is smiling every single time that he sees him, making him wonder if life is simply _that_ good.

Kyungsoo nods to acknowledge his presence, but still ignores his greeting attempt as he presses his fingerprint on the scanner of the door. Before he can enter and enjoy the commodity of home, Baekhyun is suddenly next to him.

“Wait,” he says taking a grip of Kyungsoo’s arm. As expected, the concept of personal space is foreign to him.

Out of politeness, Kyungsoo closes his door and turns to face him, finding a new emotion on him: worry.

“I have been in front of Mrs. Kim’s house for about an hour and she hasn’t opened the door yet.” Still, she could be sleeping and there goes Baekhyun knocking on her door out loud. “I’m worried, do you think she is alright?”

Kyungsoo feels suddenly tired of the sole idea of having to ease him. Baekhyun _is_ an adult, he should have either left, knocked harder, or informed the staff. All the options are right there and yet, he has stayed right in front of Mrs. Kim’s door for an hour. Kyungsoo will pretend to be shocked.

“What if,” Baekhyun starts with a slightly shaky voice, “her lifespan is over?”

Only because Baekhyun sounds terrified about the idea, Kyungsoo sighs and decides that, well, he will be a good neighbor and help him. So, he calls the staff and asks them to look at Mrs. Kim’s lifespan in their system –where they keep the record of every tenant.

Every dome inhabitant is gifted with an IC at the age of eight –a circuit in the form of a tiny square plate implanted under the skin of the wrist. Perfect to keep the track of someone’s lifespan and the months that should be added to it, as the government requires. The planting system is not perfect and life is not only ruled by it. Diseases aren’t gone, accidents can happen, and humans aren't immune to them, so precautions must be taken.

It’s only normal for any type of housing to pay attention to that. If Mrs. Kim’s lifespan was threatened, there should have been someone that knew beforehand.

As a staff group opens the door to take Mrs. Kim to the hospital, Kyungsoo is reminded that any kind of system can fail. It’s really sad because she is a good woman, kind hearted and smart. Sometimes when Kyungsoo helps carrying her groceries to the seventh floor, she would tell him small stories that reminded him of his mother’s.

Luckily, her family lives in the dome as well and if they are quick, they will get to the hospital pretty soon. If anything happens, at least she won’t be alone, _and that’s good_.

But as soon as she is taken out from the apartment on a stretcher, Baekhyun has small tears threatening to fall from his eyes. At the end, he rushes to the elevator; the last thing Kyungsoo sees before the doors close, is Baekhyun holding himself as his tears flow.

If Baekhyun would have wanted, he could have stayed and then, gone with her to the hospital. Hence, Kyungsoo complains about his actions a bit longer before reaching his bed and feeling bad for him all over again.

 

⁑⁑⁑

 

Mrs. Kim doesn’t come back and two days later, her family gets to her apartment to take her belongings with them. They even reach for Kyungsoo to render thanks, since it seems she spoke well of him. Moreover, the way they speak so fondly about her leaves a small but persistent relief sensation in Kyungsoo.

Deep inside, he is not a cold person; feelings are just difficult to reach out to by himself sometimes. But he can be warm in return if he wants.

In past days, it would have been so easy to keep those well-natured emotions running through his veins, palpitating as if they were never going to disappear.

He would return home from school to find his family sitting at the table, ready to share a meal. His brother Seungsoo, who would have just came back from reforesting outside the domes, would still have his uniform on –a one piece green jumpsuit of thick fabric and black joints, helmet aside. Kyungsoo would playfully complain about the stink, but sit beside him nonetheless.

Then, Chanyeol would arrive with his two little sisters trailing behind him. Kyungsoo was willing to help taking care of Yoora and Hyeyoung, but would always notice how Chanyeol was way better at that. Since their parents had passed away, Chanyeol would be divided between school and caretaking. However, he would always find time to be at Kyungsoo’s house for every meal.

Eventually, they would move in as well, and as years passed by, the atmosphere in their house would feel authentic and comforting.

Not like today, when he is just back from work –heating the instant noodles in the microwave and getting ready to do nothing else on this gloomy Monday– and there is a knock at his door.

When he attends it, he finds Baekhyun standing there with classic Monday clothes when you have no work, nor other responsibilities –green pajamas with silver dots everywhere and simple white slippers. Kyungsoo can’t believe he has the audacity to show up as soon as he hit home, but Baekhyun’s eyes are swollen; he can’t shoo him away like that.

“Hey,” Baekhyun says with a downcast expression, voice as low as his shoulders. He must still feel sad over Mrs. Kim, Kyungsoo guesses. He can imagine Baekhyun roaming around that penthouse, swimming in the pool or lying on his bed with silk sheets, regretting he didn’t step forward to say goodbye.

Under those plastic, artificial layers, Baekhyun could hold actual emotions.

“Yes?” Kyungsoo asks trying to sound polite nevertheless.

“Can I come in?”

Kyungsoo wouldn’t let him in, but it seems as if he has no excuse or option whatsoever. He steps aside then, letting Baekhyun enter and realizing it’s the first time he lets someone into his apartment. It’s nothing special, but the awareness lingers there.

Baekhyun’s steps are light and secure, even when he is obviously conflicted. He spares some curious glances to every corner of Kyungsoo’s apartment –despite it being pretty basic and empty, without considering the furniture.

“You can sit,” Kyungsoo comments while taking a seat on his armchair. He will ignore the noodles in the microwave; he isn’t into sharing, not food at least.

“Thank you,” Baekhyun replies nonchalantly and does as he is told, still peering at his surroundings. “Why do you have, like, zero plants?”

They will never get to be close, and Kyungsoo has no reason to confess that everything he plants, dies. So, he ignores the question.

“Why are you here?” he asks slightly gentle instead, still taking Baekhyun off guard.

“I, I thought I… could come here to talk?”

So that’s Kyungsoo, a replacement. Will he serve the role of Mrs. Kim now? Will he find Baekhyun knocking on his door at every afternoon? Will he find him asking for _small_ favors, like sharing homemade food when he gets tired of a la carte dishes?

Will Kyungsoo become the babysitter of a 21 years old man? Lovely.

“Mrs. Kim said you are a good listener,” Baekhyun continues. “I, I always thought you were a bit of a jerk, but... ”

“Give me time,” Kyungsoo mumbles.

“But she said nice things about you.”

There it is again; what had Kyungsoo done to be chosen as a possible replacement? He doesn’t even have the time for it. Or he does, but he doesn’t want to. In fact, he is probably the least occupied person out of everyone in the building, or in the whole dome.

Baekhyun must have a way richer social life than him. Kyungsoo even recalls one day when Mrs. Kim talked about being worried about Baekhyun –who spent a whole summer with parties at his penthouse. So if he has friends, he must have someone to share all his worries with.

“She said nice things about you too,” Kyungsoo says still, his natural courtesy striking without his consent. Mrs. Kim spoke well of everyone anyway.

His polite, innocent comment seems to touch a nerve, though.

“I see,” Baekhyun chuckles good naturedly at first, but his gaze becomes gloomy between seconds. “She was quite a lady, right?” Suddenly, there is pink blush scattering all over his cheeks, attenuating his freckles. _Oh, oh_. “When I was coming here, I was about to turn at her door, thinking that maybe she would still be there.”

This is taking the wrong path, Kyungsoo is not here to take care of people who might need a shoulder to cry on. Throughout his life, he has merely taken care of Chanyeol’s sisters, and when they cried, he would panic and almost cry with them.

There was that particular time when he tried to teach them how to plant. He knew he couldn’t do it without help, but tried anyway and killed their lilies, plus expectations. Their shrieks and tears were unstoppable, even when the Kyungsoo tried to hug them back to smiles. Only when Chanyeol came to the rescue to plant new lilies, the girls calmed down.

Chanyeol embraced Kyungsoo then, laughing, caressing his hair, and promising both, Yoora and Hyeyoung, would forgive him.

And even if Baekhyun isn’t a kid, his sadness resembles an innocent one, pure and honest. Somehow, Kyungsoo feels annoyed at himself instead of Baekhyun, because sudden tears are running through the latter’s cheeks and he doesn’t know how to stop them.

Kyungsoo has never been good with cheering words, hence a second later, he is running to his kitchen for anything that could help. When he comes back, he places a warm cup with artificial tea between Baekhyun’s hands and waits patiently.

Only a week later, he realizes his mistake. Baekhyun is there knocking on his door with the early morning sun, just when he is getting ready for work. Baekhyun then smiles cheekily, hands inside the pockets of those green pajamas Kyungsoo would keep seeing even more.

 

⁑⁑⁑

 

Some nights, Kyungsoo still has a nightmare that seems to never leave him alone. Certain details change, but it’s undoubtedly the same one.

In it, he is outside the dome, standing in the _outside world_ he wanted to visit since he was younger. Unlike in his childhood delusions, he has no ranger equipment, no helmet or gas mark to protect him. Thus, he feels the air slowly decreasing, his lungs burning, and an incredible suffocating sensation every time he gasps.

The worst part of the dream, perhaps, is not the fact that he is there, but that he is alone. There is no dome near him or anything else at all, only the cracked ground with dust and debris flitting over it.

In the nights when the dream is persistent, he eventually finds himself inside a dome –pretty similar to his actual one, but knowing that it’s empty, made just for him. It’s not quiet, though, there is a sharp and uncomfortable sound coming from the distance, like cutlery being scraped against one another. It increases until it becomes the clamorous rumbling sound of a high-speed rail.

At that point, he always wakes up. There is a moment in which he tries to gather the presence of everything around him, and only then, he can remind himself that there is no way for him to be outside.

Traveling between domes is expensive and almost unthinkable for the average civilian, except for rangers, traders of services/resources, or those selected for the Population Control Service –as Kyungsoo was four years ago.

When someone fulfills 20 years of living in the same dome, they enter the Selection Program in order to keep the population of the colonies as equal in numbers as possible. There, it will be decided “randomly” if they stay or move domes –although is well known the Program has a preference for young adults, people without family compromises, and those who can’t pay their way back. Wealthy people paying above the law to avoid moving is nothing new. It happens every time, despite the good percentage of people that sign up for the Service willingly.

In short, even if Kyungsoo had more time than five months to live, there is no way he can get to be out there again, unless he is selected once more when he turns 41. And then, he would be taken to a strange dome, not the one that he is used calling home.

Great. Kyungsoo groans burying his face under the pillows to dismiss the negative thoughts that shouldn’t be in his mind. It’s barely Tuesday and he should be gathering energy for the week ahead, not sabotaging himself.

It’s still too early to go to work, but now he sits in the living room with his outfit and portfolio ready, a toast in hand, and orange juice on the table. He scrolls through the news on his phone.

The elections for the next Colony Leader will be in around six months. Both candidates, as different as they may seem to the public eye, are a joke. Kyungsoo doesn’t need to do research or wait to know things will basically stay the same for the next six years. At least, he might not even be there for said date, meaning he doesn’t need to see that mess.

It’s slightly hilarious. Nonetheless, the bittersweetness of the situation makes him feel odd.

Kyungsoo is a human and his survival instinct will hit him anytime soon, that’s for sure. Anytime soon… or even two weeks before, he will feel the need. And so, every two weeks from there, he will be planting and repeating what his family taught him.

Chanyeol and Seungsoo were kind enough to build an herbarium for everyone at his old home’s backyard. There, Chanyeol helped Kyungsoo with each plant until he got enough months ahead to not worry about his non-existent green thumb.

The trick was guiding Kyungsoo in every step, telling him which fertilizer to use, when to water the plant, and where to place it according to the sunlight. The system would still add a month for him if it was his own hand placing the seed and taking care of it.

Chanyeol, who had already planted until his 40s, also promised to help Kyungsoo reach his 100s. Kyungsoo deeply wished that, if he got to his 100s, Chanyeol would get to his as well.

There is a knock on his door that breaks his trailing of thoughts. It’s barely six a.m., but he knows who it is, and knows he can’t pretend to be gone or sleeping.

It’s more annoying than creepy, but Baekhyun has managed to memorize his schedule and he can get _so obnoxious_ about it. Not to mention he is a natural chatter, with easy jokes and good natured smiles. Kyungsoo only manages to cope with him speaking for about 15 minutes straight before sending him back home with the silliest excuses, but Baekhyun compiles every time.

Usually, he arrives with seemingly simple requests that Kyungsoo can’t help with and yet, he keeps showing up. From homemade food Kyungsoo doesn’t cook anymore, to simple directions that he could find easily on his phone. In simple words, Baekhyun likes to be pampered, period.

“Good morning, Soo.” Baekhyun flashes a bright smile as soon as the door opens. Kyungsoo wonders when did he even let the familiarity stretch that far to be addressed with a nickname, but lets it go. In the dim light of the hall, he can see Baekhyun has finally changed his old pajamas for new ones –white ones with plaid pants of a fabric that doesn’t look comfortable at all. “How is your day going?”

Kyungsoo stays by the door waiting for Baekhyun’s request, but maybe he just wants to talk, like last weekend when he tried to talk about the weather.

The weather is not a big deal, it’s not spontaneous or even “real”. It’s merely artificial rain, or sunshine, or breeze brought by the dome depending on what the majority wants for the season. It’s beyond easy, really, to know what is going to happen with it just by looking at the prognostic.

To dismiss that kind of topics is easy, but that doesn’t help in stopping Baekhyun from starting pointless conversations. Why can’t he go and talk to his actual friends? Apologies to Mrs. Kim, but Kyungsoo was only being a good listener to her because she was kind; it’s not a characteristic that he would give to everyone.

“Pretty nice, actually,” Kyungsoo answers anyway, noticing how Baekhyun’s smile seems to gleam brighter. “Until you arrived.”

Said smile turns upside down into a frown –almost like a pout.

“Can I get in anyway?” he asks and Kyungsoo knows it’s pointless to say ‘no’ this far. “Please?”

At least there is something unique and bearable about Baekhyun: that strawberry scent he seems to carry everywhere he moves. It’s sweet, fresh, definitely not as artificial as Kyungsoo would have expected, and it’s still there when he gets inside.

Baekhyun sits on the couch –his designated place since the first time he invited himself over.

“Can I take one?” he asks reaching for the toasts on the coffee table, and before Kyungsoo can mutter a resigned ‘yes’, he is already munching one. Surely, it’s only the first one of many.

Defeated as always, Kyungsoo grabs his juice before Baekhyun can even think about it, and sits on the armchair in front of him. Much to his dismay, this is becoming a routine.

As if being overfamiliar and nosy wasn’t enough, Baekhyun is also very curious –with his eyes still roaming around the apartment now and then. Which is unfathomable, because there isn’t much to see on it anyway. At first sight, Kyungsoo’s apartment is conspicuous by the lack of personal objects. Those aren’t for everyone to see, so they stay inside his room.

“Where are your plants?” Baekhyun asks, eyes glued on the kitchen counter. Or more specifically, on the small cactus with a globbed coconut shape on it. It’s kind of old, one of the first ones he managed to grow with his brother. Kyungsoo still finds the interest in watering it from time to time. “Are they in your room?”

Baekhyun has pretty insistent and persuasive eyes, Kyungsoo will give him that. But why is he letting him inside his apartment again?

“Yes, in my room,” he lies because it’s more convenient. Baekhyun still looks confused, as expected.

“Alright,” he answers anyway, leaning his back lazily on the couch and scrolling his own phone as if he was in that penthouse of his. At least, it seems he will stay quiet.

“I was planning to get a new bike.”

No, Kyungsoo talked too soon.

“I have a green one that glows in the dark, but I was thinking of getting one with reflective leds that change color depending on the weather, the–”

“Are you trying to impress me or something?”

The last thing Kyungsoo needs right now is to add “bragging jerk” to the list of Baekhyun’s _lovable_ qualities.

“No, well, I, maybe...” Baekhyun fidgets on the seat looking uncomfortable and embarrassed. That’s a first. “I tend to word vomit a lot when I don’t know what to say, alright?… I don’t know what to talk about with you… I don’t really know you.”

“That’s right, you don’t know me,” Kyungsoo answers sharply, but Baekhyun remains naive about it.

“And I thought that maybe we could talk about the same things I usually talk with my friends... With Mrs. Kim was different, though. We used to talk about her family, or cats, or about TV, and I don’t really watch TV.”

Of course Mrs. Kim wouldn’t be interested to talk about who can afford this and that, she was a simple lady with simple tastes, just as Kyungsoo’s.

“Or about how was her day, she…” Baekhyun smiles to himself as if remembering something. “I used to help her with her bluebells, those were my favorites from all her plants.”

Somehow, the acute sincerity in his voice startles Kyungsoo. That peculiar thing he does to keep himself in place around other people, as a barrier, starts to weaken once again. Then, he starts to consider that, maybe, he feels empathy for Baekhyun –almost like a soft spot he would prefer to remain untouched. At least when he doesn’t know how to react, meaning most of the time.

“I really liked to spend Saturdays with her.”

“Why didn’t you go to the hospital then?” Kyungsoo blurts out, pretty conscious the question is rude, but still unable to stop it.

Baekhyun stays silent for some minutes; enough to make Kyungsoo uncomfortable. Even more considering Baekhyun is scrutinizing him, probably searching for something Kyungsoo is sure he won’t find. Finally, he looks away, distracting himself with the hem of his pajamas.

“I was afraid… I’m not good with goodbyes.”

Well, that’s something they have in common. Goodbyes can be haunting after all.

“I didn’t want to say goodbye to her, even if I knew it was inevitable,” Baekhyun explains, his voice low and shy. “There was this stupid part of me that thought if I didn’t say goodbye, she would stay. It’s childish, you don’t have to tell me, I know… and I regret it so, _so_ much.”

Regret is something Kyungsoo understands perfectly. It's quite embarrassing, especially when there is no option but to share it with someone else. It’s disconcerting why Baekhyun would open to him like that. Maybe he is someone that shares his feelings easily to everyone, and Kyungsoo is the only one that has serious problems to do so. Maybe it’s to settle the bond he used to have with Mrs. Kim once again, and that would be a mistake.

However, and whichever the reason might be, it means something to Kyungsoo.

 

⁑⁑⁑

 

Even if Kyungsoo goes out with his co-workers, he isn’t a really social person; those reunions are unavoidable. Sometimes when he is in the third round of drinks, he believes that Sehun from accounting, or Minseok from human resources, are the kind of friends he would have looked for in his old dome, but now he isn’t sure if he wants that.

A couple of beers, good natured laughter, and conversations about the daily life aren’t bad depending on the company; they can even get to be necessary after a few restless weeks. But actual friendship, at least from Kyungsoo’s perspective, digs deeper than the usual, convenient and easy-going acquaintance.

It’s being with someone through thick and thin –something Kyungsoo isn’t willing to sign up for with everyone he meets. Alas, the thought of not trespassing the line hits him every now and then.

Life isn’t that hard when you only have to worry about around six people anyway; but with everyone far away from him, it’s quite nostalgic. Especially after arriving at his empty home past midnight.

Unfortunately, he barely drank a sole can, so he is beyond lucid to forget about the burning flavor that lingers on his tongue. Mint beer has to be one of the worst ideas anyone has come up with; he will never listen to Sehun again. Not to mention he forgot to check the weather prognostic and got caught by the rain in the middle of his way back.

Even after he managed to take a proper shower and changed into more comfortable clothes, it’s still raining –more like the dome is spraying fresh water over them. As far as Kyungsoo knows, actual rain doesn’t smell like eucalyptus.

His brother once told him that real rain smells like dust and mud, and in some places, it burns since it’s acid.

Rangers have many privileges. Even if they aren’t the richest, the government usually gives them facilities for almost everything: they can afford the best dwellings for them and their relatives, the best healthcare as well, and have a better ratio of communication since they spend weeks away from home.

While communication between domes is restricted to twice per month for people like Kyungsoo, rangers can use it every time they want to. So, Seungsoo serves as a back and forth messenger between his parents and Kyungsoo whenever he can.

However, Seungsoo is usually busy, and the days he happens to be home are getting fewer and fewer as years go by. Despite the existence of missions that last mere weeks, he has always been eager to pick longer ones in which he can be away for months.

On the other hand, Chanyeol who is also a ranger, usually picks shorter missions in order to spend more time with his sisters. Because another notable thing about being a ranger, it’s being free to choose between missions with different lengths after a year in the field.

But for Kyungsoo, the best privilege a ranger can have is to be _outside_.

Without a doubt, outside can be dangerous and baffling. The panorama looks quite desolating and desertic –as he remembers from his trip on the high-speed rail from dome to dome. But even if he is conscious not everything outside is pretty, he knows it can become astounding.

Stories about small but green reforested areas, sanctuaries in the middle of the nothing, and biomes are not enough, but they still bring out his excitement.

Kyungsoo is a quite logical man, but in nights as today’s, he might as well let himself daydream.

One good thing the apartment has is that big window of the living room corner –which extends from the floor to the roof and Kyungsoo usually hates in sunny days. However, in some nights, he likes to fold up its blinds and sit in front of it, lights off. There, he can see the flashing lights on the dome roof, simulating stars.

After his first mission, Seungsoo told him that stars twinkle, but are really hard to see outside. For him, that was something he liked more inside a dome, because the stars could be artificial, but bright nonetheless. He also said they could bring a pretty nice feeling to anyone who could forget they were simple lights.

Kyungsoo has always tried to do so and enjoy them a little, but his common sense can only be fooled when he is half-asleep. Then, he can spend a while looking at the unchanging sky, wondering how would everything look out there –through a helmet, from a forester camp, with a purpose.

It’s only when there is a knock at his door, that he realizes it’s actually past two a.m. There is only one person that could be showing up at that inconvenient hour, so Kyungsoo isn’t surprised anymore.

Weeks had passed and Baekhyun keeps trying to fit somewhere in Kyungsoo’s apartment. Maybe he would stop insisting if Kyungsoo didn’t keep opening his door, but there is no simple explanation as to why he lets it happen.

Baekhyun can show up at any hour, whenever he wants. It’s only a part of his messy routine: Baekhyun wakes up, sleeps and eats at the hour he wants, gets out a week straight if he wants, and in short, everything sounds simple and easy coming from him. As if he didn’t have to work at all to obtain it… and he doesn’t, in fact. And he won’t as long as his parents keep showering him with money, plus hiring maids for the penthouse maintenance.

But Kyungsoo never mentions about it, because it would be out of place.

They aren’t friends; Kyungsoo is merely playing the part of the not-so-friendly-but-still-indulgent neighbor, even if he doesn’t understand why. He has to admit that Baekhyun and he have some, tiny, things in common, and they can have actual conversations if Kyungsoo is open to listen, but that’s it.

This particular night, Baekhyun is gleaming, literally. There are small star stickers over some of his freckles, and they twinkle when he smiles –lazy but mischievous. His hair is tousled as always, but sticking to every side with what it seems to be silver glitter. Moreover, he is wearing a tight green suit, with a bow that sparkles, and a plain white t-shirt that shows different litmus patterns according to the light.

He has an arm resting on the door frame and leans slightly, with a gentle blush on his cheeks and evidently drunk. His usual scent of strawberries lingers under the strong smell of alcohol, like a gin smash, but Kyungsoo isn’t really bothered about it.

“Hey.” Baekhyun winks. “I was passing here and said, wow! What a wonderful time to pay Soo a visit!” Almost three a.m., the best time. “Want to join me?” he asks, shaking a bottle of vodka in front of Kyungsoo.

“Not really.”

“Come on.” He frowns in return. Kyungsoo knows that if he lets him in, it will end up with Baekhyun either puking or sleeping on his couch –both options sound equally unappealing. “Please?” he sing-songs.

But he looks tired and sleepy, so Kyungsoo guesses letting him sleep is the best of the two. “If you puke anywhere, I’ll kick you out. And I mean it,” he deadpans before turning on the floor lamp; its light is faint but enough. Probably the last thing Baekhyun needs is bright light being shoved to his face.

“Got glasses?” Baekhyun smiles widely before heading to the kitchen, where he leans over the counter. But as soon as Kyungsoo places a sole glass in front of him, he whines. Amazing. “Soo, you said you would join me.”

“When did I?” Kyungsoo snorts and leans over the counter as well to watch Baekhyun pour the drink with trembling but precise hands. He might have poured a bit more than expected for such a drink.

“Alright.” Baekhyun pushes the glass towards him, though, and raises the bottle. “I can drink from the bottle if you don’t mind.”

“I won’t drink more than this glass,” Kyungsoo deadpans. “And you shouldn’t either, you will get intoxicated.”

“ _Party pooper_ ,” Baekhyun mocks and takes a sip.

Kyungsoo swirls the drink in the glass before taking a small sip as well. It’s creamy and smooth; its smell is grainy, but disappears as soon as Kyungsoo swallows it. He isn’t an enthusiast of its aftertaste, but at least it doesn’t burn his throat.

“So.” Baekhyun places his face between his hands, elbows over the counter. “Are all your plants like this cute little cactus here?”

“Kind of,” Kyungsoo shrugs trying to remember which kind of plants he used to have back in his old dome. Cactus, primroses, sunflowers, gardenias… he wasn’t really into flowers, but his mother loved them to death.

“That means I can see them?”

“Why would you?”

“Well, because I’m curious,” Baekhyun shrugs nonchalantly. “You know, plants, mostly flowers, can describe someone.” Kyungsoo raises a curious eyebrow, almost sure he has heard that somewhere else. “Like, sunflowers, those are for bright, positive people.”

That’s true at least, Chanyeol loves sunflowers; bright and positive sounds like him in a nutshell.

“Mrs. Kim used to have a lot of plants, but I think that her favorites would always be her bamboos, tranquility and strength… Marigolds are for serene people, protea for the brave, and all that. So I wonder… ”

Baekhyun opts to rest his chin on one hand and shifts his attention to the globbed cactus on the counter. He hovers a finger over its thorns, unsure if he will be stung. Kyungsoo moves his hand away, because if Baekhyun gets injured, he will be the one nursing him.

Its thorns have never hurt anyone, though, Kyungsoo must be paranoid.

“Why would I show you?” he mutters, earning a groan from Baekhyun.

“I’m trying to be friendly, Kyungsoo. That’s what people do on a Saturday night, they so-cia-lize. Mrs. Kim said you were so nice to her that I thought, hey, I can get to know him too, but _no_. Why are you so serious anyway? Mrs. Kim said you were pretty funny, why can’t I see that?”

“Disappointing, but I’m not.”

“I think you are,” Baekhyun now lays his cheek on the counter, arms splattered lazily over it as well. “But you are kind of a grumpy asshole that doesn’t want to show it.”

“So, first you get into my house, and then you call me a grumpy asshole. I see.”

Baekhyun smiles softly. “Just, stop being that bitter with me, alright?”

“What am I supposed to do then, huh?”

“Be positive and nice? I guess?” Baekhyun mutters, and even if this is solely about their non-existent acquaintance, Kyungsoo takes it to heart. Alright, he will gift Baekhyun with a bit of knowledge about the real world.

“Sorry to break it to you, but just being positive doesn’t fix or change things.”

“Being negative doesn’t either.” Well, that’s a fact. “You know, just because good things don’t happen all the time when you try to look for the bright side, it doesn’t mean good things can’t happen at all, or that you are wrong for trying in the first place.”

Kyungsoo will need more than a glass for the night if Baekhyun decides to be a motivational speaker all of sudden. Hence, he takes another sip, looking attentively at Baekhyun –at how his eyelids become heavier with each second passing, and how his eyelashes flutter slower and slower.

“You aren’t falling asleep there. Come on, get to the couch,” Kyungsoo says resigned, shaking his shoulders just to get another wine in return.

If Kyungsoo ever believed he wouldn’t be truly indulgent with anyone again for the next couple of years, Baekhyun proves him wrong. He is now sitting on the armchair again, glass already refilled twice, and holding a light conversation about everything and anything at the same time.

With each sip, Kyungsoo scrutinizes Baekhyun –so easy to read, but at the same time, difficult to understand. At least, Kyungsoo has no clue if Baekhyun is the master of persuasion, of if he is boycotting himself. It can’t be that easy. Kyungsoo didn’t spend four years establishing rules and placing limits around his new life for _this_. Whatever _this_ is.

Baekhyun is loud, cheerful, and laughs almost every half-minute about his own jokes; and despite his own hesitance, Kyungsoo can’t help but laugh at one or two. In the meantime, he also finds it’s easier to open up a bit more when no actual relevant topic is touched; again, Baekhyun makes it look easier. Fine, Baekhyun is slightly different from what Kyungsoo expected, that’s all.

Maybe it’s because he is past three glasses already, but Kyungsoo can’t stop noticing how the night light lands on Baekhyun’s face in a way that attenuates all his features. It makes him gleam a bit more. It reflects in each star over his cheeks, and by the how his eyes form crescents when he smiles widely.

It’s definitely the alcohol talking when Kyungsoo believes he resembles a night sky; where for a second, he can forget the light is artificial.

“You are definitely a jerk,” Baekhyun says between chuckles. “You only have to say _hey, get the fuck out_ , and I will go away.”

While drinking affects Baekhyun in a bubbly way, Kyungsoo usually gets lazier and sleepy. He should have stopped at the first glass, or at least at the buzz stage, but something inside him, whirling and obtrusive, pushed him to hide behind the vodka. Tomorrow won’t be a pretty day.

Even so, he is perfectly aware he asked about Baekhyun staying to sleep without double entendre, not because he wants to kick him out. In fact, he does, but he won’t –meaning he isn’t a jerk.

“I’m being nice here, take it or leave it.”

Baekhyun blows a raspberry, but finally, lies flat on the couch and takes a cushion as his pillow. With the blinds down and the floor lamp off, everything falls dark and silent; so whatever the alcohol made Kyungsoo see, it should be already gone.

 

⁑⁑⁑

 

After a couple of months, Mrs. Kim’s apartment is occupied once again; this time by her own grandson who just moved in two days ago. Kyungsoo remembers seeing him when Mrs. Kim’s family was taking out her belongings –a brunette man, probably around his age, and slightly taller than him. But he doesn’t care much about new or current neighbors as long as they aren’t loud or nosy.

Baekhyun already has a free pass for that. Today when he shows up to Kyungsoo’s apartment, he is using a jacket with a lot of flowers between its yellow and transparent fabrics, blue jeans above his ankles and simple white sneakers. Also, he is holding a small transparent package with tiny green plants in a pot.

Kyungsoo can’t take his eyes off the flowers on the jacket, though; they are dizzying. He tries to focus then on the small butterfly pin glued to Baekhyun’s neck –which bluish color of its wings fades nicely onto his skin– but that doesn’t help either.

“Have you seen the new neighbor?” Baekhyun asks, evident excitement in his voice. “I heard he is one of Mrs. Kim’s grandsons. Do you want to come with me to welcome him? I got him ivies.” Then, he shows off the small package, smiling widely.

Actually, Baekhyun has a cute smile when he gets a bit too much excited over tiny things; it isn’t something that changes the fact Kyungsoo has no intention of joining him, though.

“I’ll pass.”

Baekhyun throws his head back with a grumble. “I should have seen that coming. He is going to be your neighbor next door though, least thing you can do is get along with him.”

“Is that a life rule?”

“Definitely a life rule,” Baekhyun deadpans, but when Kyungsoo doesn’t move an inch out of his apartment, he purses his lips on a thin line, defeated. “Alright then, I will tell him you like loud music at midnight and chatty people, though.”

Kyungsoo snorts involuntarily, earning another cute smile before Baekhyun is gone. Night is falling soon and he is too tired to comply this time.

So tired that the following morning, he wakes up an hour later than usual. He is already running late, didn’t had time for breakfast, have spilled coffee over his coat and just crushed his index finger trying to close his portfolio, for the third time. In short, it’s a pretty hideous day and everything is annoying –including the neighbor next door who greets Kyungsoo as soon as he gets out of his apartment.

“Running late?” he asks with a gentle, bubbly voice as Kyungsoo struggles to close the door without spilling his coffee again. The new neighbor is using a dark blue suit with white stars on the collar of his black turtleneck, simple jet black shoes and a small portfolio with silver details. Kyungsoo thought he would match with Baekhyun’s fashion sense for some reason, but he was wrong.

“Am I that obvious?” Kyungsoo mutters sarcastically under his breath. He is not in the mood to be polite for fuck’s sake… but at the same time, it’s not the other’s fault at all. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes feeling twice as ashamed when the man merely shrugs it off with a smile.

To avoid further embarrassment, Kyungsoo rushes to the elevator to press the button around five times. But of course, the man is heading to the same place and soon enough, is standing next to him –humming and taking a look at his silver wristwatch nonchalantly.

“Kyungsoo, right?” the man asks out of nowhere, leaving Kyungsoo pretty confused. “Baekhyun told me about you,” he adds. “I’m Kim Junmyeon, nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too,” Kyungsoo says out of politeness and then, an awkward silence settles between them until the elevator arrives.

“Baekhyun also told me you work in the tower,” Junmyeon comments as soon as the elevator closes, with only the two of them inside. “Logistics, isn’t it? How is the work there? Heavy?”

“Not really,” Kyungsoo confesses. Tedious? yes, boring? of course, but heavy? It depends a lot on its definition, but he is not there to talk about it with a stranger. He takes a sip of his coffee, it’s lukewarm and the only good thing on the day so far.

“That’s nice,” Junmyeon smiles once again. It’s a bit forced, but Kyungsoo doesn’t care. “I work in the tower as well, government section.”

“That’s great.” Perhaps Kyungsoo’s sharp tone comes off naturally since Junmyeon stops talking after that, not saying even a word as they get to the parking lot for their respective bikes.

Kyungsoo places his portfolio and coffee in the basket before checking his phone, hoping to find Sehun did come up with a cover up for him. Luckily, that’s the case, but whatever relief he might felt is gone when he gets on his bike and realizes Junmyeon is waiting for him –on a simple white bike and with another expectant smile.

Is Kyungsoo some kind of nosy people magnet perhaps? It looks like it when Junmyeon decides to talk all the way to work. Only when he receives a message from Baekhyun asking him to buy food for later, he realizes it may be all his fault. Whether it is or not, he doesn’t comment about it and for the following days, the elevator talk keeps repeating itself.

However, Junmyeon doesn’t press or scoop over Kyungsoo’s personal life after the first try; instead, it’s more like a short, normal and bearable talk between coworkers. Junmyeon might crack one or two bad jokes in between, but as days go by, he stops trying that hard. A simple comment about how disgustingly catchy the elevator music can be is everything he needs to say, and Kyungsoo already knows he will be a good neighbor.

But.

For those same days, Baekhyun starts to show up less and less. If he wakes up early, he spends half an hour eating Kyungsoo’s toasts –although being perfectly able to buy a package by himself– and half an hour at Junmyeon’s apartment. If he shows up in the evening, he splits his time as well and sometimes, he doesn’t show up at all for three days straight. Not to talk about the quietest Sunday Kyungsoo has ever had in weeks –when he returns from the animal shelter, sits in the living room alone, and even if two hours have already passed, there is no sign of Baekhyun.

It means nothing really, but Kyungsoo can’t stop thinking about it, even if he shouldn’t. After all, this is exactly what he wanted since the first time Baekhyun showed up in the need of comfort, wasn’t it? Silence and tranquility with no one he had to take care of –specially someone obnoxious with no notion of time, responsibilities or personal space. 'Kyungsoo can’t be the babysitter of a 21 years old man' and all that gibberish that right now sound as exaggerations.

Definitely, Kyungsoo _doesn’t_ miss Baekhyun’s presence, but anyone can accustom with even the worst panoramas and companies. Not that Baekhyun is such a bad company; he can be amusing, clever, has natural charm and his laughter is not _that_ annoying after all. Still, it doesn’t mean a thing.

But is Junmyeon that fun or nice to hang around? Or at least nicer to him than Kyungsoo can be? The odds are outrageous, it doesn’t need a lot of thinking.

It’s not even a big deal and Kyungsoo isn’t throwing a pity party for himself, but has to remember he only was sort of a replacement for Mrs. Kim. Besides, even when he realizes something is happening to Baekhyun from time to time, he can’t help or do anything for him; Junmyeon must be better with that as well.

Everyone is disposable anyway and Kyungsoo doesn’t care.

But as soon as Baekhyun knocks at his door in the middle of his thoughts –holding that big, gleaming smile of his that shows his canines– Kyungsoo realizes he may _do_ care. Baekhyun, as loud, overconfident and nosy as he can be, has already made his way towards his apartment and a bit more. And there is no turning back.

 

⁑⁑⁑

 

After all, the survival instinct _does_ hit Kyungsoo, but there is still something missing. Even if he already got the seeds, the new small pot becomes just another forgotten one in the corner of the closet, next to the other fifteen.

Simply, Kyungsoo can’t bring himself to actually sow something, as if the seeds were poisoned with his so common failure. Instead, there is always something else to do but to even look at them: cleaning, going to the shelter, having a meeting, watching something, reading anything, lying in bed, even talking with Baekhyun. But from snow flowers, to fruit trees, to iris, he just can’t do it.

Knowing what to do, but not being able to push himself to do so, is getting frustrating. But there is something holding him back every single time.

It has a similar feeling whenever he needs to reply to his family about if he is planting or not. Which reminds him, he hasn’t answered Chanyeol’s message. Now, Kyungsoo hovers his fingers around the keyboard of his phone, reading a simple and innocent ‘how are you’, but still wondering how to answer that.

It could be with ‘ _almost wanting to die sooner_ ’, but Chanyeol was never fond of his negative humor or sarcastic remarks, so that’s definitely not an option. Where is he anyway? Kyungsoo opts for a simple ‘good’, followed by his question to avoid Chanyeol asking for further details.

Since the first time they met, Chanyeol has always the been curious and overcaring one, always trying to help, always daydreaming. He was an idealist who thought everyone could be fixed. Well, not fixed, helped and encouraged to change –as he would correct every time.

Kyungsoo isn’t really sure if everyone can be helped or if people actually change, but enjoyed how positive Chanyeol could be. Somehow, he became the type of friend that he would keep in touch with, no matter what would happen.

The thing is, Kyungsoo never thought anything would happen. When he was selected to move domes, the only reason his parents stopped worrying about it was Chanyeol signing willingly to move with him. He would be lying if he said he didn’t feel relieved as well, and a bit happier than he would like to admit. Yet just a day before the departure, Chanyeol changed his plans in order to become a ranger.

Kyungsoo won’t ever blame him, because he is aware of what ranger’s privileges would give to him, or rather to his sisters. His parents, on the other hand, looked as if he had smacked both in the face and till this day, he doesn’t want to know why.

But actual friendship remains, or whatever.

Chanyeol answers fast after his reply, talking about heading to work in a sanctuary with outlaw rangers. That’s new and picks Kyungsoo’s attention right away. Outlaw rangers are those who avoid the Selection Program and basically run to the wild by their own. The government likes to pretend they care about reforming them, and even go after some for the first couple of miles around the domes. Yet it’s well-known, at least by official rangers, that they are still allowed to work in sanctuaries and biomes since they mean more workforce with less money involved.

There must be different ways to get out of a dome, but Chanyeol has only heard about rail smugglers –people that travel in high-speed rails from dome to dome trading things that wouldn’t be allowed in certain colonies, and thus, helping outlaw rangers to get out. Kyungsoo has always wondered how much would it take for him to even try it.

Anyway, transportation for rangers is mainly done by few off-road vehicles, _the few_ that are allowed to each camp. Since sanctuaries are kept out of the domes’ reach, there is no high-speed rail to arrive to and the trips take longer. Chanyeol has been traveling for six days already and still has four more to go –considering the rangers need to take small core samples, some registers and enough time to camp and rest through the trip.

Meanwhile, to entertain themselves, rangers do whatever they can, even gossip a little. Kyungsoo already has an idea of their usual conversations, from undiscovered sanctuaries to conspiracy theories that sometimes sound pretty ridiculous. But this time, Chanyeol is traveling with older rangers of higher ranks instead of his usual crew.

Chanyeol promises to save the best to tell Kyungsoo as soon as he is back, ignoring the fact he isn’t actually allowed to do so.

 

⁑⁑⁑

 

Kyungsoo likes to believe his worries are well-hidden under a thin layer of inattention, logic and other qualities. There are certain times, though, when they rush one after the other in a domino effect. The only way to fix that is to sleep through it, and in the next day, he would have forgotten about it already.

But with less than two months of his lifespan, he is putting an extra effort and actually planting something today. Still unsure about following the correct instructions, he places the anemones pot on the corner of his room. The amount of water and the seed depth are his main concerns, but there it is, hopefully surviving.

Maybe he could ask for help, but he already spent his monthly calls to home. His brother is pretty busy again, and while Chanyeol is less occupied, he is so delighted about sanctuaries and outlaw rangers, that is the only thing he talks about. More like, a specific brunette outlaw ranger with 'tanned skin, plump lips, dreamy eyes' and all that cloying Kyungsoo is already tired of hearing.

There is only one thing that catches his interest: said outlaw ranger, Jongin, has no green thumb, just as Kyungsoo, and still manages to work alongside with others. As if it didn't matter at all. But even if Kyungsoo wants to hear more about that, Chanyeol always goes back to compare Jongin with flowers, stars, and pretty things.

That only makes him feel even sicker for no apparent reason, so he prefers to ignore Chanyeol’s texts for now. But there it is again, the feeling that everyone he has ever cared for is moving on, having a plenty life and actually enjoying every part of it. Kyungsoo should be happy about it, and he is, but he also wants a piece of that.

His current situation is not bad, but it doesn’t exactly make him the happiest he could be. As an adult, he already accepted that people don’t get everything they want, life is not fair, and so on. It doesn’t matter if delusional him will always crave to be outside, he will spend his whole life inside foreign domes.

Again, life inside domes isn’t as horrible as he depicts it; then why is it so difficult for him to like it? When having his family around, it was definitely easier, enjoyable and even seemingly perfect. Still, it’s not like he can come back there and have a second chance. Or could he? It would be nice though, forgetting about these four years and having someone around who he is actually fond of.

Fuck. Kyungsoo groans, burying himself deeper into the pillows, pretty unable to sleep with those thoughts already in mind. Rolling on the bed doesn’t work, cursing even less, so he stands up and goes straight to the elevator. He doesn’t know what has gotten into him, but he stops overthinking and presses the last button –the ‘penthouse he hated so much’ one.

Its music is as horribly catchy as always, but Kyungsoo couldn’t care less. Instead, he takes a look at his grey sweatpants and black sweatshirt, involuntary searches for the hem of the glasses he left over the drawer, and finally, regrets all of his choices. But it’s too late when the elevator opens and he faces a door –white but extravagant, with lights all over the frame, tangled with artificial litmus stalks, and a small silver intercom with a bell and fingerprint scanner.

 _This is stupid_ , he thinks at the same time he presses the doorbell a few times. There is no response and this is obviously the sign for him to retreat and pity himself for whatever he was trying to do. Yet before he does so, a small red light turns on from what it looks like a lense in front of him.

“Soo,” comes Baekhyun’s voice from the intercom. “I’m sorry, this isn’t a good time for me.”

“It isn’t a good time for me either,” Kyungsoo confesses involuntary. Whatever confidence he had built to get there and do who knows what, starts to vanish. “I, I’m not sure why I came here anyway. I’m sorry, I will go.”

Baekhyun sighs and certain energy comes back rushing to Kyungsoo. He is no one to receive a sigh as if he was the one knocking on his neighbors’ doors at unexpected hours. It’s not how the things usually go, but it doesn’t matter when the door opens by itself.

“Come here.”

Kyungsoo bites his lips before pushing the door open, and then he finally sees it. The penthouse turns out to be a bright and big apartment that, at first sight, has a small bar-themed reception and a living room with glass doors that lead towards the so-called pool and colony view. Every wall and decoration is white, but also covered with different types of flowers from different and outstanding colors –being above shelves, in vases, different styles of pots, bowls, and even inside terrariums. Every shelf has white leds and some have panels for the plants that need different environments, Kyungsoo supposes. It’s not even disorganized but neat and tidy; somehow, everything around it looks pretty and matching.

Baekhyun is sitting on the couch of the living room, feet over the small white coffee table, a joystick in his hands, an ice cream container with a spoon over his legs, and wearing pastel pink pajamas. He is another spot of color contrasting with the also white furniture and litmus fluffy carpet.

When Kyungsoo walks towards him, he realizes there is a kitchen aisle next to the living room, with glassy stairs and a door that leads to another room –probably with the size of the reception. However, he stops himself from peeking towards the pool when he looks at Baekhyun.

“Hey,” Baekhyun says gloomily without taking his attention off the screen, but his reddened eyes and flushed cheeks keep Kyungsoo from commenting about it.

It’s obvious that today, Baekhyun is not able to irradiate that warmth and energy Kyungsoo was unconsciously looking for, but that’s alright. Kyungsoo can and wants to stay nonetheless. So, he sits at the other end of the couch in silence.

The temperature is cold, but not bothersome, and the smell is pretty peculiar; there is no way to pinpoint a certain scent when there are so many plants around, including a small red aster in a vase next to him.

The video game is loading, or so Kyungsoo believes, and Baekhyun takes the opportunity to take a spoonful of ice cream. “There is ice cream in the refrigerator,” he points towards the kitchen behind him before turning his attention back to the game.

Kyungsoo nods and turns back to the screen as well, but doesn’t say a word. Although the silence stretches further for the next half an hour, it’s not the heavy or uncomfortable type. Instead, it’s soothing and serene.

“Want to play?” Baekhyun finally asks after another quarter, but just then, Kyungsoo realizes he is more than sad, he is vexed and irritated. Did their roles change or something of the sorts? Because Kyungsoo suddenly feels like the intruder who is about to get yelled at or receive a sarcastic remark. Baekhyun doesn’t wait for an answer before shoving a joystick towards him and sitting slightly closer. “Just do as I say.”

It’s odd to see Baekhyun getting mad, but Kyungsoo stays quiet and tries to follow his lead. On the other hand, Baekhyun does his best to guide him without exploding in the process –with Kyungsoo actually enjoying it after their sixth defeat– but it still doesn’t turn out right.

“Oh my fucking God!” Baekhyun yells after another lost round, throwing the joystick to the carpet and startling Kyungsoo. The latter turns in surprise, unsure if he should apologize about their losing streak or about his own presence. “I’m sorry,” Baekhyun beats him to it once again before throwing his head back to the couch.

Usually, Kyungsoo is the one that avoids asking, but he can’t keep doing that anymore. Not to Baekhyun. “What’s wrong?” he mutters gently.

He expects Baekhyun to say nothing, to turn away, ask him to go and force him to the exit. In short, he expects rejection, because that’s something he would do. But Baekhyun is always so open about what he feels, and today is no exception.

“Have I ever told you about my parents?” he asks after a sigh, but Kyungsoo doesn’t recall a thing about them. He always thought they weren’t a current topic because Baekhyun simply didn’t care about their absence. “They are foresters, both of them. They always stay in the camps to keep the track on the records and research.”

That explains a lot. If rangers already earn enough, one specialized in research, records and tests can make a pretty nice living; let alone two.

“They are never home, have you noticed?” Baekhyun looks desperate for an answer, but Kyungsoo can only nod as he fidgets with his own fingers. “They have this new expedition. Just three days after their last one and in the farthest camp they have ever been. And this happens every fucking time, as soon as they are free to come back, they take another expedition… as if they didn’t want to come home ever. Why is that?”

Kyungsoo holds back from answering. He is only an outsider who doesn’t know Baekhyun’s parents, nor has a hint of their lifestyle. Should he try to say something, anything? Not at all; saying careless things could make the situation worse, and the last thing Kyungsoo wants to do is to hurt Baekhyun. Listening, though, that’s something he learned he can do. If Baekhyun keeps reaching and talking about personal things, it must be because Kyungsoo is doing something right.

“Why don’t they want to be home, huh? Why don’t they want to come back? It’s nice here, isn’t it?”

“Sometimes,” Kyungsoo mutters involuntary, too low for Baekhyun to hear it.

“And even if it wasn’t, why would they not come back for me? I’m their only son, aren’t I? Am I really so little to them as I feel I am?” With Baekhyun’s eyes looking misty, Kyungsoo focuses on his hands instead –thin hands that play nervously with the hem of his pink sweatshirt. There is a thin logic line separating Kyungsoo from reaching to hold them between his own. Maybe that would help, but he can’t do it. “Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun calls, dragging attention back to his deep gaze. “Be honest, am I _that_ annoying not even my parents want me around?”

“You aren’t annoying,” Kyungsoo replies without thinking. That seems to take Baekhyun aback, and he stays quiet for some seconds.

“I told you to be honest.” There is still an irritated tone in Baekhyun’s voice, which irritates Kyungsoo a bit in return. He is only trying his best.

“I am being honest,” Kyungsoo groans at the realization. Baekhyun being just annoying is an idea that already died long ago. “Are you questioning my word?”

Baekhyun sniffs, closes his eyes and then hides his face with both hands. “I’m just, so angry at them… and at me.”

“Why?”

“Because I have been living like these for long,” Baekhyun sighs. “I thought I was already getting used to this, but I just want so much, more than they coming back once every three months… and I am important too. Even more than those stupid missions. I just hate it so much, Kyungsoo. And I hate that I feel I can’t do nothing without them here.”

“But you can–”

“I know it,” Baekhyun says vexed. “I fucking know it and I’m trying, alright?”

Kyungsoo purses his lips and against his own judgment, he moves closer to caress Baekhyun’s shoulder. Baekhyun flinches at first, making Kyungsoo believe he was too eager, but then relaxes into the touch. Still, after talking about something so personal, he takes his time to scrutinize Kyungsoo’s efforts and look at him in the eye. How he does it is the question; Kyungsoo would be too ashamed to even steal a glance. Even the heavy eye contact is already making him nervous.

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun mumbles. “I really don’t want to be rude, not to you.”

There are so many comforting words Kyungsoo could say at the moment, but he can’t come up with any. Not even to think about what Chanyeol, the best one at comforting people, would do helps. Chanyeol had a pretty contagious smile and a comfortable vibe that made everyone feel everything was going to be alright. But Kyungsoo has no trace of that.

Probably not even telling Baekhyun that he _is_ important would come out encouraging, if it comes from Kyungsoo. Hence, he can only break the eye contact and focus on the empty container on the table.

“Do you want more ice cream?” he asks softly but still unsure.

Baekhyun hums and Kyungsoo is fast enough to stand up and get to the kitchen. Insistent embarrassment doesn’t let him go, but he can’t do anything about it. The kitchen is as organized and packed with plants as the reception, and Kyungsoo starts to wonder if it’s actually the work of the maids or Baekhyun himself.

When he returns with the new container, Baekhyun is cross-sitting on the couch, already more comfortable. He is still rubbing his eyes, so Kyungsoo holds his wrist to stop him.

“You will make them more swollen like that,” he says, placing the container and spoon over Baekhyun’s legs before sitting next to him.

Baekhyun takes a hold of Kyungsoo’s hand, and the latter has no heart to stop him, even when he starts to rub his fingers rather slowly. There is a small, litmus flower pattern on Baekhyun’s left wrist, that glints with the lightest of moves, and it’s somehow soothing to focus on. That will do to appease Kyungsoo's own nervousness.

“You said sometimes it’s nice here,” Baekhyun mutters after a while, eyes fixated on Kyungsoo. It seems Kyungsoo was actually loud enough, and that’s not only embarrassing, but quite awkward.

“I spoke without thinking.”

“Yes.” Baekhyun frowns. “You do that a lot. But still, you mean everything you say. So, don’t you like it here? Is that why you are feeling down?”

“I’m not–”

“Yes, you are. If you came here, it’s because something is bothering you.” Kyungsoo stays quiet; he did want to be around Baekhyun, but to forget his problems, not exactly to talk about them. Baekhyun looks calm, but still sounds annoyed; Kyungsoo doesn’t want to bother him, and talking about his own problems could to that.

But silence settles again between them, and as Kyungsoo traces the floral path on Baekhyun’s wrist with his thumb, he is hit by a realization. He is afraid of so many things, including letting himself be transparent in front of anyone, of dropping his defenses as Baekhyun is so used to.

There are parts of him he doesn’t want to face not even by himself, and to show that to someone else is terrifying. Still, it’s even more alarming when he feels himself at the edge, knowing he can let everything out if Baekhyun keeps pressing.

“Soo, I only want to help.”

Kyungsoo is so tired of bottling everything up, and with each second passing, he believes more and more that if he will let a few things out, he prefers to do it with no one but Baekhyun.

“I moved here four years ago,” he starts but doesn’t know where to go after that.

“Selection Program?” Baekhyun asks after waiting patiently for some seconds. Kyungsoo hums. “What about your family?”

“My parents still live in my old dome, and my brother is a ranger… My friend that used to live with us is also a ranger, and his little sisters are being raised by my parents now.”

“How are they?” It’s an innocent question, but tugs strings Kyungsoo thought already lost. Kyungsoo wants to say so much about them, to share the vivid memories he recalls from time to time, but no amount of words would be able to explain it. Baekhyun should meet them to understand; he would fit perfectly with them. “You miss them,” he says as a reaffirmation. “But that’s not all, isn’t it?”

And there Kyungsoo thought he was pretty good at hiding his feelings and worries. He should have known since the first day he let Baekhyun into his apartment, or after talking to him with alcohol involved, that the closer he got to him, the more he would know. Trust and familiarity are double-edged swords.

“Kyungsoo, I really like you, you know that?”

Kyungsoo snaps his head towards him, unable to stop the warmth creeping over his cheeks. Baekhyun looks friendly –as if _that_ type of liking wasn’t his intention at all– and Kyungsoo can’t help but feel ashamed for even thinking about it. Luckily, Baekhyun doesn’t notice about his choice of words.

“And you are always there for me, but share so little about yourself, it’s so unfair.” Baekhyun is wrong, Kyungsoo hasn’t done that, but still listens. “I know that doesn’t have to change your mind. But I do like you, and I don’t want you to feel that you can’t tell me what’s happening… I just talked about my parents, you can talk about yours, or whatever you want to talk about.”

Slowly, Kyungsoo is starting to fear he is about to pour his soul out to Baekhyun. But the latter doesn’t understand that; he keeps holding his hand and talking gently, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to do.

“Kyungsoo, it’s alright to feel alone sometimes, but you aren’t alone right now. I’m right here.”

“I know,” Kyungsoo mutters and he knows it’s the end, because before Baekhyun can mutter another word, he begins to voice some of his fears out.

 

⁑⁑⁑

 

Kyungsoo has to admit the kitchen from the penthouse has its charms. It’s as pretty well organized and packed with plants as every other room, but also somehow familiar. His mother would have loved every corner of it, including that spice rack with pots instead of jars for the seasoning plants, just as the one she has at home.

Still, the refrigerator is almost empty of ingredients, so Kyungsoo didn’t even try to come up with proper breakfast. Who knows what Baekhyun eats when he is completely alone for the weekends.

He is finishing his toast –Baekhyun apparently has been buying them for long, even while stealing from Kyungsoo’s apartment– when the latter shows up placing a pot, a bag of seeds, a water can, and a small shovel on the counter table.

“What is this?” Kyungsoo eyes the tiny brown seeds with curiosity.

“Pansies,” Baekhyun replies, eyes glued on his phone.

In the morning, Kyungsoo had braced himself for the worst scenarios. As a wimp, he preferred to bury himself under the blankets and pillows of the guest room, rather than to face Baekhyun. But when the latter showed up at the door, he yawned as if nothing had happened at all, and smiled like in any other day. That ability to brush off the most uncomfortable situations is truly a gift.

At least, that meant Kyungsoo was able to feel at ease again.

“You should start with something easy,” Baekhyun says as he sits next to Kyungsoo. He places his phone in front of him, displaying a colorful calendar with a small chart. “For starters, you have to think in what the plant needs, you shouldn’t plant a summer flower with winter conditions, for example.”

“I know that,” Kyungsoo mutters. He might not have a green thumb, but he isn't stupid.

“It doesn’t seem like it,” Baekhyun raises both eyebrows, obviously mocking him. Kyungsoo pinches his side slightly, making him jump in place with a snicker. “It’s not my fault that you don’t pay attention to details. And of course your plants will die if you don’t water them. That’s why I made a schedule and a small guide for you.”

Baekhyun pushes everything towards Kyungsoo, takes his breakfast away, and even eats the last toast. What a shame Kyungsoo can’t kick him out of his own penthouse.

“Water, soil, temperature, season, fertilizer, size of the pot, you should think in all of that,” Baekhyun says between chews. Then, he takes the apple juice and drinks it all. “Pansies like these need full sun, but since we are sowing them, you can plant them in this pot for now. And then after some weeks, we will transplant them outside, with my other pansies.”

“So I will have to come up here only to water them?”

“I won’t let the pansies die for lack of light. And look at the bright side, you will have to visit me regularly.”

“A dream come true.” Kyungsoo is trying to be derisive, but Baekhyun seems to enjoy it and even laughs about it.

Unlike Chanyeol, who would even try to hold his hands in the planting process, Baekhyun doesn’t move a finger and only observes carefully. He gives one or two indications meanwhile, but soon enough, the seeds are ready in place by Kyungsoo’s hand.

“The pansies are edible, by the way. I thought you would like that.”

“What they taste like?” Kyungsoo asks, focused placing the moist soil above the seeds.

“They have a mild minty flavor.” Baekhyun smiles widely, perfectly knowing how much Kyungsoo hates mint.

“Great,” Kyungsoo says nonetheless. He is too distracted contemplating where the seeds lie, and wonders how Baekhyun would feel after two weeks –when he realizes the flowers are already dead. It’s not that Kyungsoo wants to waste the opportunity or that he will let them die, but at the same time, his fingers are clumsy and his routine is a mess. Lastly, he hasn't had a true dedication for it in a while, pretty sure he would fail anyway, anytime.

“Stop thinking too much,” Baekhyun pushes his shoulder playfully. “It will bloom and it will be really pretty.”

“Do you really think so?” Kyungsoo asks half-hopeful, half-nervous. “I would like it to be healthy, pretty is only a plus.”

“How romantic,” Baekhyun coos mockingly, earning a light slap on the face. He can complain all he wants, but Kyungsoo doesn’t have in mind to apologize for it. Eventually, Baekhyun only laughs it off and pushes Kyungsoo once again for his lack of concern. “Alright, whatever you say, pretty and healthy.”

Kyungsoo is still unsure about keeping his expectations that high, but with Baekhyun’s reassuring smile, he can’t help but smile back.

For the next days, Kyungsoo’s priority is the pansies –which Baekhyun insisted to place on the kitchen counter, next to his old cactus– and the anemones –which Baekhyun transplanted to his own garden, reproaching Kyungsoo about forgetting they needed sunlight.

It becomes routine for Baekhyun to check daily on the flowers and boss Kyungsoo around in what he should do. No matter how much Kyungsoo tries, he doesn’t understand certain instructions, but bites his ego and complies nonetheless. Baekhyun swears there is something in the soil telling him what the plant exactly needs, but Kyungsoo can’t see it anywhere.

His nervousness grows slowly, a bit weak at the beginning and pretty impatient at the end. However, after two exact weeks have passed, Baekhyun digs in the soil with his pinky finger and surprisingly, the anemones and pansies are already germinating.

Through the day, Kyungsoo receives two beeps coming from his phone: two months have been added to his lifespan.

 

⁑⁑⁑

 

According to Baekhyun, Kyungsoo owes him plenty of favors. Such as taking care of his plants, helping him organize everything in the penthouse, going out with him, among other things. Of course, it doesn’t matter that Kyungsoo has spent the past months attending his calls and having him around his apartment almost daily. It’s not like Kyungsoo ever woke up at two a.m. for Baekhyun only to say he couldn’t sleep and wanted warm tea and just talk. Never happened.

Kyungsoo will take it, though, because of two particular reasons. One, Baekhyun has been truly helpful. It’s impossible to admit it out loud, though, because he would mock him for almost a week. Kyungsoo has been there and he isn’t taking a second chance for that.

Second, each favor requires him to be around Baekhyun, which isn’t bad at all. And as the weeks pass, they don’t look like favors anymore. Maybe they never were.

Anyway, going out with Junmyeon is just another thing Baekhyun has asked from him. Alone, Junmyeon is pretty nice and quiet to be around, but with Baekhyun, things are different, way too much. After spending the afternoon in the same room as both of them for the third time, it has become more enjoyable –even with the bad jokes, corny imitations and constant yelling that made him want to peel his face off. _That_ or Kyungsoo has become immune and can’t tell the difference anymore.

Perhaps it has a lot to do with how easy-going, but still mature, Junmyeon can be if he wants. He is only two years older than Kyungsoo, but that six years gap with Baekhyun means nothing when they are together. Junmyeon can easily balance a bubbly energetic personality with a much more serene and calculating persona. Meaning, he can easily blend between the two of them.

It’s also nice to see someone reproaching and nagging Baekhyun from time to time. Not in a bad or hurtful way.

Before Kyungsoo can notice, he has been spending more time than expected with both. Enough for him to almost let pass the fact the year is soon to be over. Its last half wasn’t the worst, and it looks like the next one will be better, but the thought of spending another year inside the dome still leaves him uneasy.

He tries not to think that much about it, at least not during peaceful days like this one. It’s the last autumn evening of the year, with slight breeze and steamy food on the table. Baekhyun has invited Junmyeon and him to have a meal at the penthouse’s terrace, right next to the pool and his garden.

Now there he is, sitting across Junmyeon while they share a small conversation and eat sweet watermelon –with his hair still dripping and his black t-shirt and boardshorts slightly soaked. On the other hand, Junmyeon has been refusing to enter the water the whole afternoon, so he is completely dry, with not even a single drop over his white bermudas and tropical t-shirt.

Junmyeon has been watching over the food, flipping the eels on the electric grill from time to time, and also keeping an eye on his eggplants and tofu. Since it’s him, Kyungsoo can lean back in peace and let him do the job without any worry.

“I think the eel is ready,” Junmyeon mutters, lifting one portion with the tongs. Kyungsoo hums inspecting it and smiling at the smell. It’s nice to eat real eel –although imported and bought at a high prize– than the usual GM food in the colony. Almost no one complains over the difference nowadays, and Kyungsoo can’t understand how happy someone can be about eating plastic, or similar. “Should we tell Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun has been spending most of the afternoon in the pool, either resting over his pineapple floater or swimming. He is still there floating, with a wide smile on his face, and the sunlight landing nicely over his skin, attenuating each muscle line, freckle and mole. Baekhyun has a lot of moles, especially all over his back. Not that Kyungsoo has been trying to count them or anything.

“Not yet,” Kyungsoo replies before placing the first eel portion in his dish, next to the rice. Junmyeon only shrugs it off and gathers his own portions as well. He also places two cubes of tofu and a slice of grilled eggplant in Kyungsoo’s plate.

After a while, Baekhyun shows up at the table, not caring about trying to dry himself before taking a seat next to Kyungsoo.

“You are horrible friends,” he says while trying to dry his hands on his prismatic square-cut shorts. Junmyeon happily gives him a plate, with the tofu and eggplant slices that Baekhyun receives cheerfully. It doesn’t take long before he shifts his attention to Kyungsoo’s own plate –to his lettuce wraps with eel, small bits of garlic, pepper, and rice he has been preparing carefully for a while.

“Don’t even think about it,” Kyungsoo mutters, slightly annoyed by how loud Baekhyun munches his food. “And chew in silence for fuck’s sake.”

“But I want to try it too,” Baekhyun replies, chewing even louder on purpose when seconds pass and Kyungsoo doesn’t yield.

“You won’t like it.” In fact, Kyungsoo isn’t lying. His lettuce wraps have a certain bitter taste, and Baekhyun has always been more fond of sweet or salty flavors. But does he actually listen when it comes to food? Never.

“How can you know?”

“You won’t.”

Junmyeon is now snickering at them, taking the chance to steal the last slices of eggplant –which Kyungsoo liked after all. Somehow, it only makes him feel as if both are being childish, which they aren’t. It’s not the first time it happens, though, it’s only another habit they have built over the past weeks.

“Be a good friend for once.”

“We aren’t friends, who told you that?” Kyungsoo replies, pretty conscious that, deeply, he is happy of that acknowledgment.

“We aren’t friends, who told you that?” Baekhyun parrots mockingly, making Junmyeon burst in laughter because, apparently, he is good imitating his voice. “Come on, give me.”

Kyungsoo should know better than to begin a discussion over food with Baekhyun; hence, his only option is to sigh and wrap a portion for him.

Before giving it away, though, he places the biggest garlic piece he has when Baekhyun is too distracted with his drink to notice. Instead of placing the wrap on the dish, Kyungsoo holds it up for him. Baekhyun, being the impatient man that he is, closes his lips as soon the lettuce touches his tongue, brushing Kyungsoo’s fingers in the process. Kyungsoo shoves him away before cleaning his fingers on his t-shirt and waiting for a reaction.

Baekhyun chews happily for a few seconds before tasting the garlic. Then, he lets his mouth half-open, as if he was afraid of keep chewing. With a face that screams utter betrayal, he faces Kyungsoo and the latter can’t stop himself from laughing. It’s a bit louder than he was expecting, but Baekhyun’s expression is hilarious. Junmyeon follows after when he realizes what’s happening.

“You did it on purpose!” he exclaims and doesn’t wait for an answer to hit Kyungsoo’s shoulder playfully and stealing his eel in the process. Kyungsoo’s first impulse is to grip the back of Baekhyun’s neck, but Baekhyun still manages to eat the eel and even smiles nervously when he gulps. Then, he breaks the careful grip and sits slightly further, but Kyungsoo still holds a smile when he shifts his attention back to his food.

Junmyeon hums and holds up a lettuce wrap for Baekhyun as well. “You can try this one.” Baekhyun eyes him carefully, but still eats the wrap. When Junmyeon raises a slice of cucumber, he chokes and grips his juice to drink it all in one sip.

”Fuck you both,” Baekhyun groans, pouring more juice in his glass. “I could have died.”

“Don’t push it then,” Kyungsoo mutters and Junmyeon bursts in laughter.

Sooner than expected, Junmyeon already feels apologetic about it and places a small wrap on Baekhyun’s plate with the last squared tofu. Baekhyun eats it in one bite and eventually acts as if nothing has happened at all.

“I’m having a New Year’s Eve party, by the way," Baekhyun says after his third eel plate.

Kyungsoo hums, already thinking about turning down the indirect invitation. His perfect New Year’s Eve plans usually consist of him spending the day in his apartment and calling home –just like in every other holiday.

“I’m also celebrating that I got a job.” Well, now Kyungsoo is the one that chokes with his food. When he recovers from that, he realizes Baekhyun is slightly frowning. “Does it really sound that impossible? Working will probably be pretty boring, but…” He shrugs nonchalantly, going for his fourth portion.

If Kyungsoo feels bad already for his reaction, it gets even worse when he notices the gentle pink on Baekhyun’s cheeks –which means he is somewhat embarrassed. It’s not that he thought Baekhyun was unable to get a job; he only believed it was improbable because he never showed the slightest interest in one. It’s something good, though. Kyungsoo is just being the jerk he is used to be –and he is still working on that

“That’s great, though,” he mutters, unsure of how to fix his mistake.

“Junmyeon got me the interview in the tower and now I’m an intern or something.”

“He needed a job,” Junmyeon deadpans, making Baekhyun wince in response. Working in the tower might not be the greatest job on earth, but it would give a certain sense of obligation, responsibility, and independence to Baekhyun. That’s something Kyungsoo believes it’s important but never got to talk about with him.

To see that Junmyeon has done it, and gone further than Kyungsoo would have, is slightly disconcerting. Or rather embarrassing, because as his friend, he could have done something too. Baekhyun helped him to sow again, after all.

“He doesn’t want to study…,” Junmyeon continues. “For now. But he can’t spend all his days here, even if he finds it fun.”

“Whatever you say, grandad,” Baekhyun rolls his eyes, looking more and more awkward with each word Junmyeon says.

“Besides, he is pretty smart and likable, he has to use it somewhere. Even the interviewer said he was quite a charmer.”

That takes Baekhyun by surprise, but then a wide smile begins to rise slowly. It’s timid, but pretty bright, stretching his features and placing sunbeams over his cheekbones. It’s such an endearing smile, Kyungsoo can’t stop staring at him.

Suddenly, Baekhyun shifts his attention to him, startling him with something Kyungsoo can’t yet describe. It’s definitely warm, though. “So, will you go? To the party, I mean, because you should.”

“Parties are not my thing,” Kyungsoo replies.

“That’s fine. Junmyeon will be there, so you two can be boring in a corner together.” Junmyeon clicks his tongue and shakes his head, muttering something under his breath that Kyungsoo doesn’t catch. “Please?” Then, Baekhyun does that cheeky smile of his that it’s so hard to say no to. Kyungsoo looks for help in Junmyeon, but the latter merely focuses all his attention on his lettuce, as if it was talking to him.

A New Year’s Eve party is not appealing, but would it be that bad? He would be around Baekhyun and Junmyeon like in any other day around the penthouse. And the penthouse has ceased to be a mystery already. The first floor has the reception, living room, kitchen, a small bathroom and a huge pantry; the second one has the two main rooms, the guests one, and another bathroom. Kyungsoo has been in most of the rooms, swam in the pool, spent a day in the living room, slept in the guests one, and even bathed in the biggest bathroom he has ever been. It’s still hard to understand why would Baekhyun like his bathtub to be filled with petals and aquamarine water, but whatever. The point is it will be a familiar place, only with a lot of strangers around.

“Alright,” he replies and wonders since when he became _that_ easily persuaded. “I guess.” Kyungsoo can swear Baekhyun’s smile grows even bigger and dizzying. “Where, where will you be working?” he asks in order to stop the sudden giddiness.

“Human resources. One floor below you,” Baekhyun winks. Kyungsoo can’t believe he wasn’t informed of this before, and that just one second ago, he was thinking Baekhyun was being charming. Must be the eggplant. “We can go and eat somewhere when it gets too boring. Like, daily.”

“It’s not _that_ boring as you like to say.” Junmyeon isn’t exactly a workaholic, but he has found a vocation working in his area. “I suggested that area for you because you are naturally amiable.”

Baekhyun shuts up for a few seconds, unable to come back with a clever, mocking reply. “Do you like yours?” he eventually asks to Junmyeon, who smiles widely before sipping his lemonade and then pointing at both with his glass in hand.

“Of course I do. That’s where the juicy stuff is.”

Why is Kyungsoo there again? Moreover, how and when did both become his only friends in the dome?

“Juicy stuff like what?” Baekhyun asks.

“You know, the rumors and all that about ''secret organizations'', the lifespan control, the population switch control, and so on. It’s actually entertaining to hear, and sooner or later, you discover which ones are true and which aren’t. But don’t even ask about being transferred there.” Junmyeon crosses his arms. “You are too young and too chatty.”

It’s supposed to be annoying, but Baekhyun laughs nonetheless. “Then can you explain this?” he says pointing at his right wrist, where the IC lies under his skin. Kyungsoo tends to forget about its existence, and when he becomes aware of it once again, it itches. Unconsciously, he rubs his thumb over his, feeling the tiny square plate in place –which raises goosebumps all over his spine. “I get it keeps the planting record, but what about the months?

“What about it?”

“You know... Does it really add months to your lifespan when you plant? If so, does it mean it could kill you when you don’t?”

Kyungsoo snorts about the question. It’s slightly hilarious, not because it’s a dumb one, but because it reminds him about his own lifespan. However, even if it sounds like a joke at first, Baekhyun looks truly concerned and curious about it, making something flip in Kyungsoo’s chest.

“No, I don’t think so,” Junmyeon replies, but it takes a moment for him to continue. “There is no poison or anything in there... Some people say that it electrocutes you, but that’s pretty unlikely. Honestly… I don’t think they even add months.” Baekhyun eyes Kyungsoo for the split of a second. “Your lifespan is the same, planting or not. You shouldn’t stop, though… who knows what they do to those who stop.”

There is a slight trail of worry that crosses Baekhyun’s face. It has been long since the last time Kyungsoo has seen that in him, but this time, it makes his chest ache. Despite that, Junmyeon only laughs.

“It’s fine, I don’t think the government sends someone to kill you just because you don’t plant.” Baekhyun visibly relaxes, but the doubt lingers there. Kyungsoo should be focusing on what Junmyeon is saying because it _is_ important, but he can’t stop noticing the slightest changes in Baekhyun’s demeanor. “As far as I know, though…”

“Stop it,” Baekhyun now sounds more or less vexed.

On the other hand, Kyungsoo saw that coming to some degree, but even if Junmyeon is right, that doesn’t change a thing. The sowing problem might seem solved, but it isn’t; Kyungsoo would still need to plant because he has no clue of the actual consequences of not doing so. Moreover, it doesn’t change the fact he can’t be a ranger or that he can’t go outside, which is what this is all about. It’s where Baekhyun is trying to lead the conversation.

“Baekhyun, you love to plant, nothing will happen to you,” Junmyeon says gently and reassuring. “I also know some people flee from the domes, so you can do that if you feel _that_ worried,” he jokes.

Junmyeon is probably referring to the outlaw rangers, but it isn’t sure of how much he actually knows about them. Kyungsoo is not willing to ask further, though. Chanyeol told him about them only because he is good at keeping secrets. Just in case something slips, he stuffs his mouth with watermelon.

“How do they get away?” Baekhyun presses. It doesn’t matter if Kyungsoo is sending him pleading eyes in order to stop him, he ignores them all. “Could you help someone to do it?”

“I don’t know. I suppose in high-speed rails? Or maybe a secret passage around the dome limits we don’t know about?” Junmyeon shrugs, but realization starts to land slowly on him. “Why, though? Do you want to live outside?”

“No, of course not. I would probably die out there after a month,” Baekhyun blurts out, making Junmyeon raise a curious eyebrow. “But… what if…”

The way he trails off while stealing glances to Kyungsoo isn’t helping to appease his nervousness.

Maybe Junmyeon doesn’t have to know about something so personal and embarrassing yet. Junmyeon is nice and Kyungsoo likes him, he really does, but that’s something he trusted to Baekhyun, and only Baekhyun. If Kyungsoo will let Junmyeon know, it should be his choice entirely.

”What if someday, I want to visit my parents?” Baekhyun finally asks, but Kyungsoo has the feeling his relief is only temporary.

Junmyeon’s curious gaze softens instantly, melting into pure fondness and care. It means he already knows about Baekhyun’s parents as much as Kyungsoo does, which isn’t unexpected at all. Baekhyun has always been the straightforward one, who opens easily and doesn’t care what others may think about that. Even when he cries, he isn’t ashamed to show it or reach for comfort. Kyungsoo used to complain about it, but still wished he had a bit of that trait for himself. At least the tiniest part.

But to have it is taking time, and this conversation is already making him feel uncomfortable.

“Sign up as a ranger then,” Junmyeon suggests with a soft voice. “You can drop anytime if you don’t like it outside. It would be easier for you to be assigned wherever your parents might be as soon as you get accepted. That alway cuts the costs of training.”

"What if I can’t go through the forester examinations, though? Let’s say I can’t plant, then–”

“Stop it,” Kyungsoo mutters because he has enough about it, about hearing Baekhyun discussing it, or even mentioning it without asking him first. Even if he has the best intentions, even if he is trying to find a solution, it’s only making Kyungsoo feel anxious out of nowhere. “It’s stupid.”

“Why?” Baekhyun asks, shifting all his attention to him. “If _someone_ wants to go outside on their own, then–”

“You don’t even know how the outside is,” Kyungsoo returns, trying to slow down his irritation the best he can. Which isn’t enough. “You can't even be sure if you can get out there without catching someone’s attention. And then, even if you make it, there are still a lot of risks outside. No ranger badge means no medical attention, no safety for anything, no fancy food as the one you get inside domes.”

“Didn’t Junmyeon say there are people living out there like that?”

“And? That doesn’t mean something bad can’t happen to them, or to whoever that tries it.”

“Something good can happen too.” As always Baekhyun is trying to be positive, but right now, it looks rather stubborn and annoying. “I don’t know why you have to be that negative about it when you don’t have any idea of what outside is either.”

“Can you stop that?” Kyungsoo asks slightly louder than he actually intended. He is not screaming, but Baekhyun flinches still. “Just, stop talking about it,” he mumbles tiredly. The last thing he wants is having a discussion about it, let alone with Baekhyun. Discussions always end with headaches for him.

“Why are you behaving like this?” Baekhyun frowns, half-confused, half-irritated. “I’m only trying to help.”

“Well, you aren’t helping,” Kyungsoo groans. “And just so you know, not everything is solved by being careless and fucking stubborn.”

“Am I missing something here?” Junmyeon interrupts, reminding Kyungsoo where he is and what he is doing. Everything falls silent, and the annoyance starts to die slowly –enough for him to notice worry behind Baekhyun’s own exasperation. But furthermore, to see how the pieces start to fit together for Junmyeon.

It’s not sure if Kyungsoo feels embarrassed for almost losing his temper, or because now it’s sure that Junmyeon knows, but blushes nonetheless. “I’m, I’m sorry.”

“Um…,” Junmyeon scratches the back of his neck nervously. “I have to go to the bathroom, so if you excuse me…”

Then, he stands up and leaves them alone. If Kyungsoo didn’t know better, he would think Junmyeon is running away from the situation. But the truth is that even if he doesn’t know what exactly is happening, he understands the undertone of it. Which makes Kyungsoo wonder if Baekhyun does as well.

“What was that?” Baekhyun asks truly confused, the irritation that was there a few seconds ago, is almost gone.

Usually, Kyungsoo wouldn’t complain. More often than not, he lets these kinds of issues be forgotten and moves on, because it’s never worthy to push further. Except this time, he doesn’t want to let it go that easily.

“You can’t do that,” he mumbles and holds onto the idea that things should go differently with Baekhyun. That things should go transparent and honest, for the most part. “This might not be a big deal to you, but for me, it is.”

”But I know that. I know it’s something important to you,” Baekhyun replies, getting closer to pat his shoulder. “That’s why I was trying to help you talk about it. I’m sure Junmyeon can help you too. He is as much a friend of you as mine.”

“It’s not that, Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo leans back, trying to find the proper words to talk about it. Perhaps that’s the problem, that he is thinking too much. “Don’t you realize that it took me long to talk about this with you? And if I did it, it was because I wanted to. But that? That was basically you deciding that Junmyeon should know instead of letting me do it.”

”Didn’t you plan to tell him?” Baekhyun sounds slightly surprised.

”It has crossed my mind… kind of, but that doesn’t mean you have the right to push things like that.”

“I didn’t think about that…,” Baekhyun confesses and blushes a little. His emotions are always so palpable and genuine, it’s probably one of his best qualities. “I’m sorry, Soo,” he says eventually, taking Kyungsoo by surprise. “You are right, I should have waited for you. It won’t happen again, I promise.”

Kyungsoo can’t stop his heart from skipping a beat, because although he was ready to talk about it, he wasn’t sure if Baekhyun would care enough to understand or even more, apologize about it.

“It’s alright,” he mutters, and after Junmyeon comes back, they don't talk about it anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

Kyungsoo takes a last look to his outfit inside the elevator. He is wearing his usual black jeans and boots, but this time, he also got a dark silver tafetta t-shirt under his black old jacket. The jacket was a present from Yoora and Hyeyoung for a past New Year’s Eve –probably picked by Chanyeol, who thought a jacket with white neon cufflinks would be a nice idea. His hair is slightly coiffed and he also left his spectacles at home. It’s not something he would usually do, and he doesn’t expect extra points for the effort, but if it goes unnoticed by Baekhyun, it would be a shame.

Techno future bass can be heard even before the doors open. And when they do, Kyungsoo is faced with strangers dancing, talking and drinking outside and inside the penthouse. Quickly, he rushes to the reception, trying to find a familiar face in the crowd. It’s slightly difficult since the room is plain black, with different color lights that never stop moving and blinding the view. Not to mention everyone’s clothes are so bright and neon, Kyungsoo feels slightly dizzy already.

Yet, he promised to Baekhyun he would stay for at least two hours, and he could be obnoxiously tricky, but promises are meant to be kept.

After sliding through the people in the reception, he gets to the living room, which serves as an improvised dance floor with all the furniture put at the sides. There, he finally spots Baekhyun in between the dancing crowd.

As expected, his outfit is glowing. It’s a “simple” tailored black suit over a black t-shirt, with tight jeans and seams that shine a bright aquamarine –as do his shoes.

When Kyungsoo is spotted back, he notices Baekhyun isn’t in his right mind; a mixture of alcohol, excitement and something else is flowing in his gaze. Instead of approaching or calling for Kyungsoo, Baekhyun stays there, with his eyes glued on him teasingly.

Even if Kyungsoo doesn’t like those flashing lights around, he has to admit the way they land over Baekhyun makes them more bearable, entrancing even. It must be because his movements are fetching, from the way he swings his hips and sways his shoulders, to the way he traces his hands over his body, forcing Kyungsoo’s gaze to trace along. Baekhyun’s hand is lingering over his neck, raising rather slowly, and that’s when Kyungsoo realizes he is being sized up from head to toe.

When they make eye contact, Baekhyun licks his lips. Then, he smiles widely just a second later and when he starts to laugh, the reverie is broken; Kyungsoo becomes aware of his warm cheeks and knees about to buckle, and rushes to the kitchen for a drink, anything that can help him go through the two hours ahead.

There, at the counter bar, he finds Junmyeon chatting animatedly with a pretty, tall, brunette girl with blue litmus lipstick on, and a simple white dress with prismatic blue patterns. When Junmyeon notices his presence, he smiles at the girl and excuses himself.

Closer, Kyungsoo notices of his simple dark green jacket with stars along with his sleeves, his grey tight jeans, and white neon shoes. His usually coiffed hair is tousled and shiny.

“Hey, want a drink?” he says reaching for a blue, large bottle and pouring its sparkly liquid in a glass. It doesn’t look appealing, but Kyungsoo takes it anyway and drinks it all. It has a strong flavor, half-mint, half-tropical, and even leaves his throat slightly sore. “Easy,” Junmyeon chuckles. “I’m glad you finally came, Baekhyun was being pretty clingy with me for the first hours waiting for you.”

Kyungsoo clicks his tongue trying to bear with the lingering mint flavor as he turns back. Baekhyun is already walking towards them.

“Another,” he tells Junmyeon handing him his glass, but before he can drink again, Baekhyun is already circling their shoulders and hugging them both.

“Aw,” Baekhyun smiles and up this close, Kyungsoo notices he is wearing faint black eyeshadow and has tiny neon stars on the sides of his neck, right under his ears. Those must be new, but temporary, unlike the constellation one over his ankle and the flower pattern on his left wrists. “My two best friends, the loves of my life, together.” Then, he places a drunk kiss on Junmyeon’s forehead and Kyungsoo’s crown.

“How much have you drank?” Kyungsoo asks, trying to release himself from the grip; it’s doing weird things to his stomach. Not to mention he can’t stop thinking Baekhyun looks quite handsome under the mild light of the kitchen. Or maybe it’s just whatever Junmyeon gave to him.

Baekhyun blows a raspberry before smiling widely. “Who cares?”

“He is alright,” Junmyeon adds with a snicker, trying to be teasing. “Nothing to worry about yet.”

“Aw, don’t you love this man, Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun chuckles and hides his face in the crook of the other’s neck. “He is always so, so caring. Junmyeon, I love you so, so much.”

“Stop that,” Junmyeon laughs, shoving him away before gripping his drink and taking a small sip. “Where did you get this, anyway? I haven’t tasted such thing before and it’s already making me tipsy.”

“From another dome,” Baekhyun smiles and steals Junmyeon’s glass.

Kyungsoo tends to forget that Baekhyun does that, importing things from other domes, being rich and all that, even with the penthouse and fancy clothes. He also tends to forget how obstinate and gruff he actually was with him at the beginning. In his defense, Baekhyun looked as an obnoxious, careless child, whose only purpose in life was to have fun –which at this point, it doesn’t even sound that bad.

But Kyungsoo was so wrong, and now when he takes a moment to truly focus on Baekhyun –on his eyes full of marvel, on his wide contagious smile that shows his bright canines, on the tiny mole above his lip and freckles, and on any other tiny detail in him– he realizes that things have taken a 180-degree turn. Which isn’t bad, except that now he is hyper aware that Baekhyun means more than he is able to handle right now.

“Don’t waste too much time here in the kitchen,” Baekhyun winks to them and rushes towards the dance floor once again.

"Fucking hell,” Kyungsoo mutters under his breath, realizing that he is probably losing his mind. Junmyeon seems to have heard him, but doesn’t say a word about it. Instead, both lean over the counter to drink in silence.

“Do you dance?” Junmyeon asks eventually, but Kyungsoo shakes his head. At best, he doesn’t dance good enough. His mother was quite a dancer, but he inherited the skills from his father, and since Chanyeol and Seungsoo aren’t good either, he never tried to practice. “That’s a shame. I really want to.”

“Does that mean you will dump me here?” Kyungsoo asks playfully.

“Who said anything about dumping you? It’s basically my job to take care of both of you.” Junmyeon laughs, but Kyungsoo frowns. Last time he checked, he was a perfectly independent adult, capable of looking after himself. Well, without mentioning the sowing issue. “But I can dance here in the kitchen with you if you want.”

“I’ll pass.” Kyungsoo snorts and takes the last sip of his sparkly drink, but it’s enough. If he is going to get at least to the buzz zone, he should pick something more appealing. Hence, he looks through the different unknown drinks, but none catches his attention. What does, though, is the small bowl with square brownies next to them.

“Nu, uh,” Junmyeon hums when Kyungsoo is about to reach for one. “Those are special brownies. Only take one if you are aware of the consequences.”

Kyungsoo freezes in place. He doesn’t even remember if such things are legal. At least, they weren’t in his old dome, which also was kind of conservative in other matters. “You are kidding, right?” When Junmyeon shakes his head, he waits for the worst and instinctively turns around to look for Baekhyun.

“Don’t worry, one won't kill Baekhyun.”

The nonchalantly way Junmyeon talks about it, makes Kyungsoo realize they might not be a big deal in there. It still makes him uneasy, though, even if it’s not the first difference he has found between colonies in those four-almost-five years. Junmyeon is kind enough to let pass the fact Kyungsoo got extra worried for Baekhyun a second ago there.

“What about you?” Kyungsoo asks, trying to ease himself from the topic.

“I don't like them and I'm the designated best friend in charge that nothing happens to the penthouse,” Junmyeon raises a hand to place on his heart. “I even have a bat right under the sink.”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and decides to go for a random drink to pour in his glass. The sooner he gets drunk, the better. “It’s going to be a long night, isn’t it?”

“Depends on how much you are willing to enjoy it, I guess. You know… like anything else in life.” That definitely sounds aimed at Kyungsoo’s personality. Maybe Kyungsoo is transparent after all, and Junmyeon doesn’t need anyone to tell him something is up; he is already pretty sharp-eyed and clever. “Sometimes, you just have to forget about those tiny flaws for a second to start appreciating the important things. Ugh, but I still hate this drink.”

Or maybe Kyungsoo is being paranoid again, it wouldn’t be a first.

Anyway, he props on his elbows over the counter and sips his drink again. It’s quite hard to find Baekhyun in the crowd when everyone is moving and he is probably right in the middle. Soon enough, he gets distracted by all the colors and patterns around. When he turns back to have a small conversation with Junmyeon about why would someone use neon orange on a suit, he realizes the latter has been staring at him. Who knows for how long.

“So… you don’t like this dome, huh?” Junmyeon asks all of sudden and Kyungsoo feels his shoulders tense in the split of a second. “You don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want, alright?”

That’s reassuring, but since there is nothing more to hide about it, Kyungsoo might as well try sharing it once again. Besides, Junmyeon is smart, mature and down to earth. His point of view might be different to the positivism Baekhyun gives to him 24/7, and that’s exactly what he needs right now.

“What do you think about it?” he mutters slightly nervous after sipping his new drink –still strong, but less fruity and exactly what he needs to keep talking. “About someone, anyone really, trying to get outside on their own. Do you think it’s worth?”

Junmyeon purses his lips and scratches his chin. “I will be honest. For me, it isn’t.” Kyungsoo didn’t expect less, that’s how Junmyeon is after all. “I believe that when you get sent to a place that you don’t want to be, it makes you feel enclosed, it makes everything around unpleasing and annoying. But when you give it a chance to like it, everything changes for the good. Sometimes, you just have to work with what you got.”

That’s true, at least. All this time, Kyungsoo has been bitter about moving in the first place. It didn’t look fair at the beginning, and still doesn’t till this day. From there, everything else looked dull and monotonous. If things started to look better, it was because he forced himself to do something different. But at the same time, _this_ is not only about feeling enclosed in a specific dome, but about much more.

Perhaps what helped him to realize what he really wanted was moving to another dome. To be alone for awhile and face the reality. Company is good, but it can also be blinding.

“But… But at the same time, why not try it?”

To say Kyungsoo is perplexed is an understatement. By how rational and cautious Junmyeon is, and by the direction he was taking a second ago, Kyungsoo expected him to end it with a fulminant _no, this is stupid_. Deeply, he wanted to prove his negative side right, that the idea is dangerous and he should think it better. He needed Junmyeon to be the logical one when he is too tired of being the one.

“It’s dangerous, though. You need a well thought out plan if you don’t want to get caught.”

“Didn’t you just say I should give _here_ a chance? Don’t you think all of this all of this might be a bit stupid?”

“It _is_ stupid, but I said what I said.” Junmyeon laughs wholeheartedly. “Sometimes you have to work with what you got. And sometimes fuck it, why you have to work with what you got if you can go after what you really want?”

Then, Kyungsoo stays silent, unsure of what to do with said advice.

After the fourth round of whatever both are having, Junmyeon is already dancing next to the counter. Kyungsoo tries to convince him to find an actual dance partner, and even if Junmyeon is a bit hesitant at first, he agrees after Kyungsoo promises to move to the terrace.

Perhaps it’s because Kyungsoo has been leaning over the counter for long, but when he finally straightens his back to get moving, his head is suddenly spinning. Which can’t be appeased when the music sounds even louder than before, and the lights shine brighter and faster. Kyungsoo could swear his level of alcohol was normal a second ago, but now he feels intoxicated by everything that surrounds him and he is starting to lose it.

It doesn’t take long to get to the terrace, but the walk isn’t any pleasing. It only makes everything worse, actually. At least when he gets to the terrace, there are no flashing colorful lights, just the usual artificial ones in the dome roof. There, he leans over the railing with both elbows and focuses on the city.

Even with the alcohol messing with his head, he keeps seeing something that he doesn’t like in it. No matter how long he keeps replaying Junmyeon’s first words in his head, his lasts have more echo. But it’s his tired mind what helps him admit he really wants to go, and he has been thinking far too long to not do something about it. With those thoughts from the past weeks, and whatever bravery is running through his body at the moment, he decides to text Chanyeol.

“I want to go outside,” he sends but dismisses to explain further, already feeling like stepping back. Maybe he won’t actually go outside ever, but it’s nice to think about that possibility.

“Everything alright?”

Startled, Kyungsoo turns around and quickly saves his phone inside his back pocket. It seems his brooding time is over when Baekhyun has appeared abruptly in front of him –offering him a glass with green neon liquid, which he rejects because he is done with sparkly drinks for a lifetime.

“Yes,” he replies, cringing slightly when Baekhyun takes half of the drink in a sip. “Just, too many people.”

Baekhyun raises his eyebrows and looks over his shoulder to the living room. Then, he places his hand with the glass over the railing, cornering Kyungsoo to pat his shoulder with a smile. “Nothing will happen to you there.”

“I’m not sure about that,” Kyungsoo mutters, peeking from Baekhyun’s frame. The sight full of people, lights, and bright colors is still dizzying. Yet, it gets even worse when he shifts back towards Baekhyun, realizing about the so little distance between them. It’s so sudden, Kyungsoo’s face turns warm instantly. “You are too close,” he breathes out.

“Am I?” Baekhyun teases with a low, smoky tone Kyungsoo has never heard coming from him before. It’s quite attractive and raises goosebumps on the back of his neck and all down his spine.

Kyungsoo can feel the pulsing sensation in his ears, how actually tired his eyes are, and even his throat aching due to whatever he has been drinking. But all of that is rather little, compared to his chest fluttering when Baekhyun slides a hand under his jacket, rubbing his waist over the fabric of the t-shirt. That odd but pleasing sensation quivers all over his body, as if it couldn’t decide to stay on his chest, or his stomach, or his throat.

His nervous gesture strikes once again, and his eyes can’t stay still. They wander through Baekhyun’s lovely details all over and over again, but always rebound to his eyes. He has such lovely eyes, dark and deep, but still bright, warm and brimming of fondness.

Being perfectly sober wouldn’t change much. _This_ has been growing for quite a long time, probably since the first time he got a glimpse of the stillness that comes along with Baekhyun. Maybe it has been there since the first time he genuinely returned a smile, or even later. It doesn’t matter, because now he isn’t sure about backing up anymore.

There isn’t even time to enjoy it to its fullest, though, since Baekhyun pulls back and gives him the glass with the remaining half of the drink. Kyungsoo is still so allured and dumbfounded, he doesn’t even care about the eucalyptus aftertaste when he puts the empty glass away.

The drink is still settling on him, when he feels Baekhyun reaching for his wrist. Instinctively, Kyungsoo tries to hold his hand, only to be dragged towards the living room a second later.

“Come here, handsome,” Baekhyun laughs and it’s the most pleasant and vivid sound Kyungsoo has heard in awhile. Soon enough, both are in the middle of the crowd. The bass has slowed down, but the music is still loud and almost clear above the laughter and voices around. The lights are still too much, too contrasting and giddy, and the space is not wide enough. But for a moment there, with Baekhyun still holding his hand and dancing closely, Kyungsoo can forget about everything else.

Baekhyun pretty much outshines everything around him when he dances, and when he smiles, and when he bumps Kyungsoo trying to get him dancing. Which he achieves after a while, because Kyungsoo might not resist long if he keeps pulling him closer. It’s nothing fancy or good, or regular even, but at this point, he couldn’t care less.

Both are ruined anyway, they will probably forget about it by tomorrow.

The thing is, Kyungsoo does remember everything the next day, and can’t even look at Baekhyun in the eye without doing so. Hopefully, those intrusive, embarrassing flashbacks of him trying to flirt are just his imagination playing cruel tricks on him. At least, Baekhyun has been spending the morning floating in the pool, trying to ease his headache. Meaning, Kyungsoo doesn’t have to face him right now.

Nonetheless, he and Junmyeon are still in the penthouse – each one lying on their respective sunchair. Junmyeon, who just came back in the early morning, is sleeping and still has blue lipstick all over his lips and cheeks. When he moves between dreams, the color changes and it’s actually pretty to see. On the other hand, Kyungsoo is merely trying to focus on what Sehun is texting him –more likely, about his reward for covering him at work once again.

Suddenly, he receives text, after text, after text coming from Chanyeol. He is not in the mood to read them all, but still tries and reads the last but most important one.

“But yes, I can help,” Chanyeol answered, “you should have said it sooner.”

 

⁑⁑⁑

 

If Kyungsoo will leave –and that’s a big ‘if’– he needs a plan, something to assure himself everything would turn out right. As exciting as it might sound, going blindly to the unknown is something he would never do. And even if the plan might never be needed or carried out, it’s good to have one at hand.

He believes Chanyeol when he swears Jongin is pretty smart, brave and perfectly able to help him out. Despite his opinion being influenced by the fact he is head over heels for him –Kyungsoo already knows enough, from his medium ash hair color, to his sun-kissed skin, to his contagious smile and many more things he really didn’t need to know. Yet, he is also aware that even the smallest mistake on his part could ruin everything, not only for him, but for them as well.

Thinking about the scheme and scenarios has become a hobby, one of the most relaxing and oddly fulfilling ones he has ever had. It isn’t solely based on how to leave the dome, but where to go and what to do next as well. Once he is out, he has to manage by himself and only himself anyway.

Some ideas stick to the reality, some don't. Some are too fanciful to be pulled out and other too stupid and dangerous. But with each one, Kyungsoo regains the excitement he used to feel about the outside when he was younger.  
  
It makes him remember how he would always wait for Seungsoo to return from his missions to charge him with questions. And all that knowledge he still had with him, but was too afraid to bring out again in case it could only make things more bitter.

But again, it’s only an idea with a tiny possibility, that’s why he hasn't talked about it with anyone but with Chanyeol. Lately, it has become more difficult as Baekhyun shows an insistent and increasing interest about _outside_. It’s perfectly obvious what he is trying to do, so Kyungsoo only shares with him a few things, but nothing relevant or supposedly “confidential”. Not that Chanyeol would care at this point.

Baekhyun is more than willing to help, and that’s nice, but he has done enough already and Kyungsoo really wants to deal with this alone.

Besides, it’s not as if he enjoys talking with Baekhyun about how much he wants to leave, perfectly aware that he is getting attached. Something has changed, or rather, _grown_. Kyungsoo is having problems to put a name on what’s happening, despite having an idea of where it’s heading to. It would be way easier if, at least, it didn’t come offhandedly. The sudden warmth in his chest is nice, but the dizziness that comes along with it? Not that much.

Feelings are complicated to think about, so he lets them be as long as they don’t make him feel giddy and dumbfounded.

To give affection, though, that is inevitable. Being gushy and huggy is what Baekhyun does, being encouraging but honest and fair is what Junmyeon likes to do, talking about someone 24/7 is Chanyeol’s obnoxious way to show it, and he could go on and on. But Kyungsoo isn’t good with none of that and prefers small but thoughtful actions. Like preparing a warm cup of chamomile tea to cheer Baekhyun up after a long day at work, for example.

Even if it didn’t take long for Baekhyun to adapt, the first days of work were slightly difficult for him. It didn’t only have to do with the usual first-day-nervousness, but with his enormous amount of energy –which makes it hard for him to focus and stay perfectly still inside an office. But eventually, his easy-going and perseverant, or more likely stubborn, persona has pulled it off.

Baekhyun groans loudly. Or kind of pulled it off. It doesn't matter if it takes him time, he will make it, and Baekhyun knows that.

“Was it such a hard day?” Kyungsoo laughs as he comes back to the living room, where Baekhyun lies on the couch waiting for Junmyeon and their dinner –using that orange suit with white dots at the sleeves that no one understands at all.

Baekhyun hums, face buried on the cushion. “Awful. Terrible, actually… Be a good boy and bring me some tea, would you?” He turns, only to see how Kyungsoo stops in the middle of the way with a cup in hand –the one he planned to give Baekhyun before he tried to be a clever ass. “Oh.”

“Fuck off.” Kyungsoo is about to return to the kitchen to either drink it by himself or save it for Junmyeon when Baekhyun blocks his way with a big smile. In return, Kyungsoo merely clicks his tongue and gives the cup away. Baekhyun is standing too close, already messing with his heart anyway.

“Thank you, Kyungsoo. What would I do without you? What a life savior. You look handsome today, by the way. Is that a brand new black turtleneck sweater?”

“Drop it.”

“Alright.” Baekhyun smiles once again before sipping his tea and sitting back on the couch. Kyungsoo will probably regret it later, but he sits next to him nonetheless. “So…,” he starts when ten minutes have passed and Junmyeon still hasn’t shown up. “What are you going to tell me about outside today? Did Jongin find another exotic flower?”

Kyungsoo should have totally shut the fuck up. Chanyeol might not care about people knowing one or two things from outside, but if he finds out Baekhyun knows about the new flora Jongin is collecting, things might not be that simple. “Do you really want to talk about that today?” he frowns in discomfort.

“I like to hear you talk about it.” Baekhyun shrugs. “I have never seen you that interested in something but your wish for a peaceful life outside. With the breeze, and the stars in the sky, and the grass that smells like real grass. Your words, not mine.”

“It would be nice, that’s all I said.” The scenario of a peaceful life, settling right outside a sanctuary in silence, trying to sow and watching the flowers bloom slowly, looks wonderful in his imagination. And Kyungsoo is not even sure if he likes flowers that much, but they look more appealing there than inside a dome.

“That’s exactly what I said… Are you sure you don’t want to try it? At least once?”

“Do you want me outside that much?” Kyungsoo teases with a small smile.

“Not at all,” Baekhyun replies fast, looking awfully serious. “But if that’s what you really want, I think it’s worth the shot. Why can’t you give it a try? What is holding you back?"

"Baek, it's not simple," he mutters, but still realizes how Baekhyun is about to keep pressing on it. "It takes a lot of planning, believe me. I have been..." he stops, because he shouldn't have said that or even implied it. This trust has betrayed him once again.  
  
"You have been...? What?" Baekhyun sounds slightly disappointed. "Why you don't want to talk about it with us? Don’t you trust us? Or me, at least?”

“Of course I do. This has nothing to do with trust or anything like that.” At least, that’s what Kyungsoo likes to believe. Before he keeps talking, though, he takes a few seconds to think about it. It hits him then, that the problem isn’t if he trusts in others per se, but in himself. Chances are that he could be able to do it, but a lot of things could turn out so wrong.

It has been the same for pretty long time and planting is the perfect example of it. It doesn’t matter that he spent years learning how to do it and even more trying, he simply can’t do it and he never will.

Failure is not something that keeps him up at night, or that scares him to the core, but it keeps peeking from time to time at the back of his mind, and at the most inconvenient moments, like this one.

“I’m not sure if this could work out,” Kyungsoo blurts out before he can regret it. “And I don’t want anyone involved in this if it fails because I would feel awful if anyone see it. That’s it.” Light warmth creeps over his cheeks all of sudden, and his hands start to sweat. It’s not what he thought relief would feel like, but he holds onto it. “I want this, though. I want it to be as good as possible, but I’m scared that it won’t be, that I will find a way to fuck it up, or that it simply won’t be what I expect it to be.”

“But why does it even have to fail? And if it does, why would it be something _that_ bad? You can try it again, can’t you? What’s the worst thing that could happen?”

“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo’s mind has gone to the most improbable scenarios already, but they seem too stupid to voice them out. However, that doesn’t mean there aren’t real and awful outcomes. Being sent to jail is the most common one, and if he feels suffocated enough being free inside a dome, jail would probably end him. Even faster than any sickness, equipment failure or obstacle he could find out there.

“It will be alright,” Baekhyun says softly and moves closer. Then, he gently caresses Kyungsoo's thigh in circular motions, easing his nervousness. “Stop overthinking about it.”

"But I have to overthink it." Kyungsoo bites his lips and takes a moment to breathe and let his concerns go away. Silence settles in between, but Baekhyun doesn’t seem to mind. Instead, he opts to rub Kyungsoo’s nape, slowly melting his tension away. After a few minutes, the tension is almost gone, and so, it's easier to think better about the situation.

Trying to be positive could be a mistake, but right now, there is nothing that can prove Baekhyun is wrong. Getting out could change a lot for the best, but he will never find out if he doesn't at least try. Maybe all the encouragement he has received for the past weeks and the schemes he already planned are clouding his judgment, but Kyungsoo is starting to believe it. That he can finally get outside.

He can almost imagine it, feel it as if he was already there. The blazing light over his face, the tropical temperature which becomes more bearable as he reaches a biome. The strong scent of trees and plants and flowers he has never seen. The faint breeze reaching for him and the stillness. That stillness that comes along with tiny, low soothing sounds on a quiet afternoon. An afternoon that feels and sounds like happiness.

“There is so much to consider if I’m really going to try it.”

“Are you really?” Baekhyun exclaims with a wide smile. “That took less time than I expected.”

“Shut up.” Kyungsoo frowns, still unsure where he is trying to head to. “I will tell you what I’m planning to do, but this is something I want to work on by myself, alright? Because me saying that it’s going to happen doesn’t assure anything still.”

Baekhyun laughs wholeheartedly, pushing away the remaining of his doubts. “Keep tricking yourself, Kyungsoo. It’s obvious that you will end up leaving. Maybe not now, maybe not even this year or the next on, but you will do it someday.”

Kyungsoo’s frown grows even heavier. “How are you so sure about that?” he asks, but before Baekhyun can answer, there is a knock at his door. When Junmyeon enters, he decides to leave the topic for later and focus on his schemes by himself.

 

⁑⁑⁑

 

There is something on the colony that wasn’t there before. So it must be, because Kyungsoo isn’t even bothered about the huge amount of people in the streets, rushing to get to their homes in time. He had noticed it already a few days ago, but thought Blossom Day, the last day of Winter, would be the breaking point. The traffic is only a problem in holidays, that’s a fact. The streets are not only crowded, but also stuffed of decorations and lights that coincidentally land on his face for a whole street.

And yet, he feels as if it was any other day. A good one, actually.

The first months of the new year went by rather quickly, but as each day passed, Kyungsoo noticed his uneasiness about time fading slowly. Maybe it has to do with his conviction about leaving that is getting stronger and stronger, but even the environment simply doesn’t look that bitter anymore.

There are still things he doesn’t like, more like he despises, about the colony, and spending his days with Baekhyun and Junmyeon won’t solve them, but lately, it looks pointless to complain about them. Being inside a room with both –at the penthouse, sitting on the living room couch with his legs over Baekhyun’s, laughing about Junmyeon getting killed in the same videogame every five minutes– makes it look more simple, to enjoy the little things as before.

In the blink of an eye, Spring was already a day ahead. For the past years inside his current dome, he has spent that “significant” day alone at home. It hasn’t been something bad or sad, though. After going out for a while, he tends to return early and make a call home –where his whole family will be getting ready for a meal. He spends a few hours talking with them and cooks a small meal for himself. Then, he spends the night eating and drinking before falling asleep.

It has been silent and slightly lonely, but peaceful at the same time. However, this time Baekhyun has convinced him of spending the afternoon with him and Junmyeon at his own apartment –eating the food he will cook. It’s disconcerting how he agreed to all that in the first place, but at least he won’t be the one cleaning afterward.

Holidays aren’t a big deal for Kyungsoo, even if some might be pretty, easy to organize, and even nice to celebrate. Truly, he doesn’t hate any –except maybe for the pointless dome’s anniversary– but neither gets excited over the top for them. Back in his old dome, his mom, Chanyeol and the girls were the ones ready to decorate, cook and plan the itinerary for them. From birthdays, changes of seasons, Roses Day, Ranger’s Day, New Year’s Eve, to Blossom day, of course. This one was particularly Yoora’s favorite.

Some things change in how it’s celebrated between different domes, but the usual elements remain untouched. Every April, sometimes even before it starts, each colony and each housing are decorated to welcome the new change of season. Colorful lights brighten the streets and buildings, seasonal plants are displayed everywhere bringing out their particular scents, and different decorations hang from every door and every streetlight.

Everything is thematic and most of the decorations are meaningful: plumerias placed on the windows for new beginnings, white sweet peas on each table for the past season goodbyes, poinsettias all around the house for cheer and success. Small evergreen and fruit trees, which represent growth, can be placed in the living room –decorated with ribbon and different colorful flowers.

Sometimes, and this is what Kyungsoo’s mom used to do every year, meaningful flowers are placed at the top of the small trees, at the dinner table or even on someone’s hair or clothes. The flower represents something that’s expected for the new season, either for everyone, for a few or for one person only. His mom would place crocus everywhere for peace and daisies for happiness on everyone’s clothes, but at the next day Kyungsoo would always find light pink rose petals in his back pockets.

Kyungsoo doesn’t have the spirit nor creativity to decorate the apartment, but still places pansies on the table. Not for symbolic purposes, but because those have been his favorites for the past weeks. It’s enough for him.

It’s still pretty early, but he decided it was the best time to get Baekhyun’s early gift –for his birthday that is around the corner. The shelter isn’t usually empty on Sundays, except for holiday’s ones. This time is not the exception; there is almost no one in the reception, but that makes it easier for him to pick up the pup sooner. Hence, in less than an hour, he is outside the shelter with the pup in arms.

Kyungsoo has to admit it took him a while to come up with something he would like to give to Baekhyun. Even as a simple man of simple tastes –who always preferred to buy basic electronics and small objects– he felt compelled to get something rather proper for him, picking with the heart.

Perhaps Baekhyun doesn’t know a thing about raising a dog, but he is still responsible and would love to have more company around the penthouse. Besides, Kyungsoo can help, he might not know how to grow a plant, but surely knows how to take care of a dog.

Carefully, Kyungsoo holds the small pup closer to his chest. It’s a lovely mixed corgi, red-headed tricolor which is already falling asleep in place. Kyungsoo coos before placing him on the small bed inside his bicycle basket, and then adjusts his backpack –where he put the toys and dog food.

Unlike every other time Kyungsoo goes out, this time his pace is sluggish and cautious to guard the pup against any harm. With such slower pace, he now can pay more attention to the colony.

Sunny days happen in a great part of the year. Kyungsoo isn’t that fond of them, but he must admit the sunlight enhances the green in every corner. Flowers also look quite bright in such days, especially at the end of Spring. However, that kind of days are reduced in the last days of Winter, and instead, those are slightly grayish.

When Kyungsoo was traveling from dome to dome, he noticed the sky was rather gray, but the closer they got to the colony, the bluish it would look. Sanctuaries zones must have a similar sky, but the weather will certainly be different.

Outside it’s not only unpredictable but also has fewer commodities, fewer things than inside. Jongin assures him there is enough shelter for everyone, with clean and sustainable energy, but Kyungsoo, being the uneasy man that he is, still gets prepared for the worst.

Anyway, the colony’s gray is lighter and closer to steam than actual clouds. Not that Kyungsoo knows a lot about clouds, they can only be seen clearly from outside after all. The point is that it doesn’t matter if the day is sunny, misty or rainy, it would always be clear. And maybe that’s the thing he would miss about the dome, like Seungsoo with the roof stars.

The colors can be vibrant and every corner might shine more than needed, but it’s a nice view nonetheless.

He has never noticed that before, though.

There are a lot of things inside the dome he did notice, but never stopped to truly acknowledge. Like the small coffee shop down the shelter street, where he buys a blueberry scone that turns out to be delicious. The establishment has a fruity smell rather than the usual minty one, Kyungsoo takes note to go again. Or the flower shop near his apartment, which gives warm and domestic feelings from outside, but is still organized and neat inside. Kyungsoo likes it enough to buy some seeds on his way, keeping in mind to return for some daisies later.

Oddly enough, that doesn’t change his mind about going outside.

When he gets home, he places everything he bought for the dog in his room, including the small bed, and takes the time to feed him. It’s so small and its fur is too soft for Kyungsoo not to give him little kisses on the top of its head while playing with him. Eventually, the pup gets tired and Kyungsoo leaves him to sleep while he takes a shower and sets everything ready.

Cooking is not frustrating, but it does take long although Kyungsoo picked relatively simple dishes: grilled halloumi and cherry salad, parsley, mushroom and barley wreath, and balsamic chicken with orange glaze. While he prepares everything, he receives the first call from home and spends around an hour talking with his parents only.

There is nothing relatively new back home, but listening to them is quite comforting. Even when they have short discussions about who didn’t put the milk in the shopping cart last time. Then, when both have to get ready, they pass the call to Seungsoo, who apparently has been helping in the kitchen all this time.

As Seungsoo brags about the great cooker he has become, he tries to enable a clear video call unsuccessfully. At the end, he has passed the phone to Chanyeol, who also failed to do so. It’s not their fault, though. Video calls _always_ have pretty bad reception –the video is slow, low quality and tends to freeze, but at least the sound is alright.

Kyungsoo has placed the phone on the counter, hands-free on so he can keep cooking meanwhile. On the other end of the line, Chanyeol keeps moving the phone, making it difficult for him to focus on a single thing.

“What’s that?” Kyungsoo asks when Chanyeol finally managed to show him his own strawberry sweet rolls. It doesn’t look bad, just a bit messy, but he doesn’t have to know. “Is that even eatable?”

“Shut up,” Chanyeol laughs loudly. “Yes it’s eatable and probably delicious, thank you very much. I don’t see your dessert anywhere, though.”

“Baekhyun will bring it later,” Kyungsoo comments nonchalantly. Just in case his excitement about it is evident, he turns to the stove to check the pudding.

“Mhm… _Baekhyun_ , uh?” The way Chanyeol draws out Baekhyun’s name is too obvious and loud to ignore. As expected, he can’t keep his mouth shut when it comes to picking on Kyungsoo. That’s what best friends are made for, supposedly.

At least, he hasn’t told anyone about his plans to leave. The hardest part of that could be having to accept he can’t get to his old dome anyway. It was pretty obvious since the beginning, but the tiniest hope remained somewhere inside him. At least, Jongin promises to have a phone for him ready, so he can get in contact with his family more frequently. Kyungsoo can ignore the fact that is probably illegally traded.

It’s not that he doesn’t plan to tell his family about it, but wants to save it for later.

“Who is Baekhyun?” Yoora doesn’t come into view, but his honey-like voice can be heard.

“Is Kyungsoo dating?” Hyeyoung asks, curiously peeking from behind Chanyeol.

There is only a glimpse of her jet black hair and big eyes before Chanyeol occupies all the screen again. His grin is big, all his teeth in display as he laughs while Yoora and Hyeyoung’s voices can be heard demanding to have the phone.

The image isn’t even clear, but the audio is so vivid it brings some memories back. It’s not only the girls’ voices, but Chanyeol’s laughter, Seungsoo humming at the background, and the knowledge his parents are also there, probably listening to all the chaos.

Kyungsoo misses them so much, and it’s heartwarming to see them or at least hear them, but it’s not the same.

Not much can be done, though. But, at least if Kyungsoo ever manages to leave, he could get to see Seungsoo, or even Chanyeol again

“Anyway,” Chanyeol keeps laughing and moving the phone, probably being attacked with tickles by his sisters. “I have to hang up before the kids kill me. Calling you in a few hours.”

 _Kids_ , Kyungsoo smiles. Chanyeol’s sisters are around fifteen already, but fine, he lets him be and hangs up.

Then, everything falls silent again. It’s still early, so, he lowers the temperature of the oven a bit, checks on the pup –who is still cutely sleeping on his bed– and when he will finally sit in the living room to organize his thoughts, there is a knock at his door.

When he attends it, Baekhyun is right there, smiling. He is wearing a simple loose sweatshirt with a floral pattern of different colors –wine red, peach pink, and honey yellow over denim blue– simple grey pants and white shoes. His hair is slightly parted to the right, and he has rainbow prismatic sunglasses folded on his sweatshirt collarbone.

He is carrying a lemon pie and a box, but also has a small fruit tree next to him, which has a few decorations in place –because that’s how flamboyant he can get to be. Not that Kyungsoo is complaining because, as always, he looks dazzling and handsome. It almost makes him regret not changing sooner, because he is still in normal clothes, no shoes, and only socks. At least, he is using that cherry sweater Baekhyun gifted to him around his birthday.

“Hey.” Baekhyun pushes the tree inside, making Kyungsoo step away.

“If you wanted the whole Spring experience, we could have done this in your penthouse, or at Junmyeon’s.” Junmyeon had been pretty quiet about his decorations, but it’s still crystal clear his apartment must be packed with Spring spirit.

“No, this is good.” Baekhyun heads to the kitchen to save the pie and when he returns Kyungsoo has already pushed the tree to one corner of the living room. “I knew your apartment would stay as dry as always, so I wanted to help.”

“How considerate of you,” Kyungsoo says sarcastically.

“Yes, I know.” Baekhyun smiles and then shoves the box to him. “You can thank me later, though.”

“Someday,” Kyungsoo mutters, opening the small box to inspect what’s inside. It has not only ornaments and ribbons, but also flowers and even artificial cherries. He snorts. “Did you pack all your tiny decorations?”

“Just half of them,” Baekhyun says, not noticing the playful tone. “You can keep them if you want, except for this one.” He reaches out for a small transparent box with a decorated candle in a jar. Those are an option for seasonal gifts, they are not only decorated with small real or artificial flowers, but also with ribbons, glitter, and some are even painted. Baekhyun holds his own carefully before handing it to Kyungsoo. “This one is my favorite, Mrs. Kim gifted it to me a few years ago.”

It’s pretty, golden with stars on the base and artificial white lilacs in a spiral that ends with a tiny yellow ribbon. It also smells like strawberries, like Baekhyun.

“I still miss her from time to time,” Baekhyun mutters softly but composed. Then, a small smile shows up for a few seconds. “Each Blossom Day, she used to save me a slice of the red velvet cake her daughter had baked. And it’s the best one I have ever tasted till this day, Junmyeon better bring me a slice.”

"I could bake one.”

"I doubt yours is _that_ delicious.” Baekhyun’s laughter is even louder after Kyungsoo kicks him slightly. “I will take it though, last time I ate one was… wow, it was even before my parents went to their new mission. And that’s long.”

Since Baekhyun has stopped mentioning his parents altogether, Kyungsoo had already forgotten about them. Lately, it feels as if he was living alone since day one, which he kind of was. It’s been almost a year since he met Baekhyun, and Kyungsoo hasn’t seen them come back, not even once. “Are they coming soon?” he asks nonetheless. It’s a simple question, he believes, but there is something that changes in Baekhyun’s demeanor.

“I doubt so. I haven’t talked to them for weeks… I was looking back the other day and… The thing is that every year, they come back less and less. Last year I only saw them twice, and they were supposed to be here by December, so I guess they might as well live outside right now.”

There is something odd in his tone. Unlike past times when they have touched this specific topic, Baekhyun looks duller with it, like if it was a normal, mundane conversation. It worries Kyungsoo a little bit, because Baekhyun can be more expressive than that, but now he only looks impassive.

“It’s alright, though,” Baekhyun says, looking slightly nervous. “They have a new home, and that’s nice, isn’t it?”

“Do you know where they are?” Kyungsoo asks without his common sense consent. He might as well slap himself in the face or let Baekhyun do it.

“Not really.” Baekhyun chews his bottom lip while searching for something in the box. “They sent me a bunch of coordinates, but I don’t know a thing about that. To be honest, I don’t know a thing about their life outside. Not that it matters, though, I wouldn’t survive out there.”

But that’s not true, even if Kyungsoo would have thought that too before, way before. Baekhyun is a fast learner, clever, diligent, a bit stubborn yes, but also eager. If Baekhyun wants something, if he really puts his mind into it, he can do it, whatever it might be. Kyungsoo knows it, believes it without a shred of doubt.

“I believe you would,” he replies, with a bigger realization coming after it. Something that numbs his judgment and tugs his chest when Baekhyun looks happy to hear that.

“Really?” The glint returns to his eyes in wonder, making it harder for Kyungsoo to focus on anything else. The way he bats his eyelashes when smiling always leaves him awestruck. “Then maybe I should go with you,” he says playfully, but fuck it, Kyungsoo would love that. It is pointless, but now he can’t stop thinking about how much he wants that, even when Baekhyun starts to laugh and he loses other two bars of his sanity. “How is the plan going, anyway?”

“Um…,” Kyungsoo trails off, trying to focus. “Chanyeol sent me the escape plan.”

Chanyeol has meticulously planned the escape with Jongin’s help. It looks like Jongin already has experience taking people out through the high-speed rail, which slightly eases Kyungsoo. Furthermore, she is thoughtful enough to send an elaborated scheme of the way from the station to the pick-up point –which is outside and dangerously near to a Ranger Training Camp.

The route is easier to explain than go through, but everything starts with Kyungsoo signing up for the Ranger Camp. Sign-ups come with a temporary ID, which will grant him access to the Ranger Theoretical Assessment, and then if it turns out right, to the high-speed rail. Kyungsoo will be given temporal equipment even before boarding the train and after that, he will be taken to the rangers station and then, to the camp. That’s when the tricky part comes, since he either needs to get into an illegal vehicle right in the station or wait to be in the camp to escape on the first night.

Both options are equally risky and Kyungsoo must be losing his mind, but those are the safest ways he will get, so he will take them.

“That’s good… I’m going to miss you, though,” Baekhyun mumbles.

Running away is not something certain, maybe it won’t even happen. Having a plan doesn’t mean a thing and Kyungsoo wants to remind him that, but he should stop being such a jerk with him. Baekhyun is being sincere and caring, it’s only fair to do the same for him.

“Me too,” Kyungsoo blurts out.

“Of course you will,” Baekhyun laughs again, and the dumbfounding feeling Kyungsoo had a minute ago vanishes for a tiny second, allowing him to roll his eyes.

“It’s nothing one hundred percent sure, though,” he mutters under his breath. Nervously, he focuses on the box.

To fill the silence has never been something he has to worry about when being with Baekhyun, but the constant fluttering feeling coming from his chest isn’t easy to ignore. It grows with every second he stays quiet, and it spreads through all his body without a second warning. When he turns to say something, anything, he realizes Baekhyun is still, quietly looking at him.

“What?” Kyungsoo asks slightly defensive since the gaze is rather heavy.

"I just remembered that I got you something,” he smiles and reaches for his right pocket. Then, he takes out a small metallic pin of a flower. As far as he remembers, Kyungsoo has never seen such flower. It’s tropical, with dark short lines over big pink petals that blend into white and yellow.

With Baekhyun smiling expectantly, there is no way Kyungsoo doesn’t put away the box and places the pin on the hem of his sweater right away.

“That’s an alstroemeria, by the way.”

“Haven’t heard of those,” Kyungsoo mumbles, brushing the pin with his thumbs. “What does it mean?”

“A lot of things, actually.” Baekhyun hands reach for his wrists, startling him. “It can mean support, friendship, growth, but most importantly, and _this_ is what I want for you, it means dreams being fulfilled.”

Well, this is it. Kyungsoo can’t hold his heart inside anymore.

Baekhyun looks at him as if he had said something totally irrelevant, not being aware of how meaningful his words are for Kyungsoo. It’s not only a lovely reminder that Baekhyun truly cares about him, but that has his fullest support as well.

It also makes him feel insanely warm and fuzzy inside. This time, when Baekhyun smiles, he can’t help but rest his head on his shoulder, carefully circling his waist to keep him close. Baekhyun doesn’t hesitate in hugging back and rubbing soft circles on his lower back, which is not only sweet, but also soothing.

“Thank you,” Kyungsoo mumbles, burying his face in the crook of Baekhyun’s neck. With his glasses on, it’s a bit uncomfortable, but it doesn’t matter when Baekhyun smells like strawberries and Spring, and feels incredibly warm and soft between his arms. “For everything.”

“It’s nothing,” Baekhyun replies softly, gently leaning his cheek against Kyungsoo’s head.

“Of course it’s something.”

“No, it isn’t.”

“Damn it, Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo laughs and backs off only to look at him. That’s enough for the full weight of being in love to hit him like a bolt.

His chest tightens, his face is flushed, his heart is losing it, and on top of that, he feels exasperated, but amazed, fond and hearty, but in awe all at once.

This close, Kyungsoo can spot the many lovely details only in Baekhyun’s face. And he loves them each. Loves the way the freckles over his cheeks and moles draw messy patterns, and the thought of spending hours counting them over and over again. Loves the shape of his lips and the bridge of his nose, and the picture of him tracing his cheekbones, his temple, his eyelids, and forehead, placing kisses all along.

Loves the way his eyes form crescents and the smile that grows with it. The way his laughter can fill a room, and how his glow is contagious, and bubbly, and one of the most wonderful things in the world. And above all things, loves how Baekhyun feels like home.

"I like you,” he breathes out, and before he can think what to do next, Baekhyun gives him a small tender kiss. And another one, and another one, and perhaps two more before Kyungsoo slows their pace. He can feel Baekhyun’s smile growing bigger and bigger until he is the one burying his face in the crook of Kyungsoo’s neck. But Baekhyun bites, and brings his waist closer, playing with the hem of his sweater and sneaking one or two fingers under it.

And Kyungsoo might be enjoying it a bit too much, until he remembers what would this mean. Because a relationship doesn’t look like the smartest thing to have in the moment, not when his plans of leaving are taking shape and only need date.

But the afternoon goes on, and without realizing, Baekhyun has managed to kiss his worries away.

 

⁑⁑⁑

 

Kyungsoo still has a lot to learn, and a lot of things to work out, but that doesn’t mean he can’t enjoy a relationship, does it? Besides, Baekhyun would have never forgiven him if he backed away from it, as if nothing has happened at all. It wouldn’t be fair, because he has a say in their relationship as much as Kyungsoo does.

But lately, Kyungsoo has been thinking a lot, too much perhaps. It’s not easy since the intrusive thoughts tend to arrive at night, when he is alone. Because now that he has crossed out all the reasons he had to stay, he is only left with one. It should be something good, but it feels as if he was being attached to the ground by only one cord. If the cord is broken, there is nothing else to stop him from going outside. But the cord is worth so much, he isn’t sure if he should even touch it.

Getting attached that fast isn’t something Kyungsoo expected from himself, but it’s done, and there is no turning back. Baekhyun is here, with affection, safety, commodities, and even Junmyeon. But the outside is too close, with his ambitions, Seungsoo, Chanyeol, and the unknown Kyungsoo shouldn’t feel that excited to get in.

This isn’t a decision of what he wants more. Kyungsoo is an adult, meant to make decisions for the future, someone that has been waiting for this almost his whole life. He would miss Baekhyun with all his heart, but what about his dream?

Something in his heart always felt like picking love above all the things, but love is not something simple by itself. Dreams can be loved. Then, there is the love that he feels for his family, for Seungsoo, for Chanyeol and the chance that maybe, just maybe, he can get closer to them. And then, there is that fondness he feels for Baekhyun, but it’s growing too fast, too acute to be labeled as anything else than constant falling.

These are the kind of thoughts that rush through his mind, even right now. Kyungsoo takes a last look at himself in the mirror –at his simple tailored black suit, hair coiffed to the right and spectacles in place. It takes him a while to inspect each inch of his outfit, but everything has to be perfect, or the closest to it. From his looks, to the full course dinner he has prepared –cauliflower bisque with brown butter croutons, wine pasta with mushrooms, steak with tarragon, and a small mint chocolate cake for Baekhyun, a strawberry one for Kyungsoo, and a peach one that he will save for Junmyeon.

Perhaps Kyungsoo has dressed rather fancy, but he wouldn’t mind if they end up eating in the living room.

Lastly, he keeps the gerbera daisies bouquet he bought for Baekhyun on the counter. It’s odd, but he believes they can fit with Baekhyun somehow. At least, that was his first thought when he saw them. They are bright, beautiful, with vibrant colors and make him smile.

Even if the dinner, the flowers, the champagne Kyungsoo bought at last minute say this is a date, it isn’t. Junmyeon can arrive too anyway, he is so used to arrive to his apartment, so comfortable knocking at any hour, it’s almost as if Baekhyun taught him that. Of course, Junmyeon won’t show up, because he is out there in a real date.

But who the fuck is Kyungsoo trying to fool? It _is_ a date, a date that has a double entendre that makes him shiver. It’s just that it’s easier to believe it’s a normal night with simple conversation rather than a serious discussion. Not that all dates must have that.

Enough. A few days ago, he decided he wants to change things, not only about living inside a dome, but about everything around him. He is done being bitter every five minutes over things that he can’t control. Or worse, things that he can control, but he doesn’t move a finger to change.

And he wants to start that with Baekhyun, because Baekhyun deserves someone being honest with him. Kyungsoo wants to be open and honest from now on, even if it takes a bit more from him.

When there is the usual knock at his door, Kyungsoo takes the bouquet and reaches for the door.

Baekhyun is also using a suit, or something similar, with a plain black t-shirt under a grey litmus blazer, simple black pants, and new litmus shoes. He looks startled by the door opening, as if he was slightly nervous before it. Still, he regains composure pretty fast and smiles as if he owned the world. Which for Kyungsoo, he kind of does.

“Hey,” Baekhyun says and scans Kyungsoo from head to toe. “Looking good,” he teases with a radiant smile before kissing him off guard.

It’s a peck and it only lasts a second, but still makes the world giddy. Kyungsoo is still getting used to this –to his skin tingling, the goosebumps, the warmth creeping from who knows where, his chest about to burst, and being dumbfounded for a good few seconds. Nonetheless, it’s a nice, swell and hooking feeling.

A bit nervous, Kyungsoo chuckles and chokes over the words ‘ _you too_ ’, but he is sure Baekhyun knows that already. Then, a bit mischievous, Baekhyun focuses on the bouquet Kyungsoo is holding, almost pressed against his chest.

“Uhm..,” Kyungsoo trails off, feeling his heart give a small jump before handing him the bouquet.

“Gerbera daisies, huh?” Baekhyun takes them to observe them carefully. Kyungsoo is glad he picked one from each color: orange, red, white, pink and yellow. “I’m flattered.”

“I, I don’t know what they mean,” Kyungsoo confesses as soon as he remembers he doesn’t know the meaning of them yet. “I just picked them because… well, they looked pretty and like something you would like...”

“Well, that explains a lot.”

“What?” Kyungsoo panics slightly. “Do they mean something bad?”

“No,” Baekhyun laughs, before smiling at the flowers. Kyungsoo is still unsure of why, but those are definitely the ones that fit Baekhyun the best. They complement each other and Kyungsoo can’t help but reach to give Baekhyun a kiss on the forehead.

So, maybe, Kyungsoo is slightly nervous when placing everything on the counter. And maybe next time, he will keep in mind the kitchen is usually quite hot after cooking, but Baekhyun doesn’t seem to mind sitting on the other side. Also, he will take note of buying the strawberry champagne earlier, so it’s actually cold and they don’t have to drink lemonade meanwhile.

At least, the food is delicious. Kyungsoo is not bragging, just being honest.

Baekhyun has been talking about Mongryoung, his pup, for about half an hour. When Kyungsoo showed the small sleeping pup to Baekhyun, the latter had that sweet and excited reaction he was waiting for. Seeing him _that_ happy and soft over the dog, melts Kyungsoo’s heart. But when he has finished talking about what a good boy the pup is, Kyungsoo guesses it's time to talk about the trip again. It isn't still something that he wants to do, but it's necessary.

“I think we need to talk about the trip,” Kyungsoo says, but when he has Baekhyun’s attention on him, he doesn’t know how to continue. What is he supposed to say anyway? _I want to go so bad, but at the same time I don’t want to leave you, but I have to?_ Sounds honest, but that wouldn’t take them anywhere, would it?

“What’s with the trip?” Baekhyun asks, sipping his drink. “Is there a problem with it?”

“Kind of…,” Kyungsoo mumbles.

Baekhyun raises an eyebrow and waits. When he stays silent for enough time, Kyungsoo realizes he is merely waiting, because he already knows what this is all about. It’s just too easy for him to read Kyungsoo as an open book sometimes, it still takes him off-guard.

“Are you… thinking of staying because of me or something?”

Kyungsoo purses his lips, unsure of how to answer that. There is no simple way to put it down. The trip is more a reality than a dream, it’s closer than he has ever expected. Hence, it’s happening, and it’s not because Baekhyun means little to him that he won’t stay. But at the same time, the thought of staying _has_ crossed his mind now and then. Even more when he is too close to Baekhyun, then it seems like the right place to be.

“You are aware that this is your opportunity, right? That you have been thinking about this for long.”

“Yes,” Kyungsoo says, feeling slightly defeated by the mood of the conversation. “I am.”

“...Would you really let this opportunity go, just because of me?” Baekhyun mutters. “I never considered you a hopeless romantic.”

“Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo groans, but Baekhyun merely smiles. With that type of smile that is bright and contagious, that makes Kyungsoo believe that even if things aren’t alright at the moment, they eventually will. The type of smile that he would miss the most when he gets out there. “You mean a lot to me,” he says, feeling defeated. “So much. But that dream means a lot too, has meant something for too long and I… I really want to go, I have to go.

“I know.”

"But I don’t want to make something stupid and let you go at the same time.”

“It’s not stupid, though,” Baekhyun comments. He has been so calm and attentive for the past minutes, that’s the only thing that’s helping Kyungsoo to be calm as well. “This place, besides Junmyeon and me of course, has nothing for you, does it?”

“It doesn’t. But you mean more than anything else it might have to offer.”

Baekhyun purses his lips in a thin line, Kyungsoo believes he just saw the glimpse of a smile, but it's gone. Silence settles for a while, as Kyungsoo tries to gather the pieces once again. But soon enough, Baekhyun is laughing. Laughing, not smiling, but bursting in loud, vivid laughter. It’s a pretty view, but Kyungsoo doesn’t understand it.

“Well,” he says after calming down. “Today is your lucky day then.”

“What?”

“Where are you planning to go after you escape from the camp?”

Kyungsoo still needs to decide where to go after that. From the pick-up point to a few miles far from it, he can consider himself outside and relatively free. Jongin will take him to wherever he is staying at the moment, still, Kyungsoo will have to keep moving eventually. His expectations are too big, but perhaps for the meantime that he gets used to the outside, he could stick with him. Meanwhile, he could also learn how to be part of the outlaw rangers without having a green thumb, just like Jongin.

Since Kyungsoo is still silent thinking about the possibilities, Baekhyun smiles again.

“Then, come with me,” Baekhyun says, tightening Kyungsoo’s chest since he knows where this is going. “I will go and visit my parents outside.”

There is a moment, where Kyungsoo is faced with too many emotions to react. Surprise, wonder, excitement, confusion, happiness, just to name a few. He is also hit by the realization that, while he was busy thinking about leaving, he was being pretty naive too. Baekhyun has been dropping hints here and there, talking about his parents, asking about outside. This had not only been a way to push Kyungsoo further, but himself as well.

“Do, do you mean…,” Kyungsoo licks his lips nervously. “Do you mean… you want to go outside?”

“That’s right,” Baekhyun fidgets on his seat. “I have been thinking about it, Soo. And I want to see it. At first, I was curious to know what exactly was out there that made so many people want to stay there. But then you come here, and talk about how much you want to go… and I started to think that maybe I could see it too. I am planning to sign up as a ranger, find my parents, find you out there too, but… I would… I mean… This is not only me being careless, alright? I have thought about it enough.”

“Are you sure about it?” Kyungsoo questions. Not because he wouldn’t love it, or because he believes Baekhyun is taking it lightly, but because he is worried this might not be the best thing for him to do.

“Of course I am.”

“Junmyeon said that if you sign up, that would take you directly to your parents, but that still could be quite dangerous. Keep in mind you can always come back if you don’t like it. Also, if you aren't one hundred percent sure, you can always fail the assessment on purpose and–”

“For fuck’s sake, Kyungsoo, I’m trying to be romantic here,” Baekhyun blushes all of sudden with the most vibrant pink Kyungsoo has seen on him. “I already thought about it, it’s my choice. Either take it or leave it.”

Kyungsoo needs a moment to assimilate what’s happening. To drink champagne and let the idea settle in his mind. But he feels so happy and relieved, he can’t help but smile and then laugh all of sudden. However, it’s a type of laughter different than any other, not a fun one to have, but the release of all his emotions, good and bad. Sooner or later, he feels like tearing up and lays his cheek over Baekhyun’s shoulder to stop it.

At this point, he doesn't know if Baekhyun is that warm or if his face feels hot because he is at the edge of crying. Or when did Baekhyun start to rub his back, or how many minutes have passed already without none of them saying a word. But if he is sure of something, it's that this is how love feels like. A bit emotional, a bit overwhelming, but overall tender, mesmerizing and full of happiness.

“It will get cold,” Baekhyun whispers eventually, pointing at Kyungsoo’s food.

Sniffing a bit, Kyungsoo nods and tries to eat his food quietly, as he also tries to not implode with feelings again. It’s slightly hard, but he guesses Baekhyun doesn’t want him to make a fuss about it when he is still assimilating the idea himself, even when he tries to deny it's taking him time.

They share a low and light conversation then, a bit awkward at first but nice nonetheless. Moreover, Baekhyun can't stop smiling and cooing at how Kyungsoo's cheeks are still bright red. It ceases to matter how embarrassing it can be when Baekhyun caresses his cheek and places kisses on his eyelids. 

“You should drop the tower and become a chef,” Baekhyun says after eating the last spoonful of his mint cake. “You can even get to be the rangers’ chef, I bet they would appreciate it.” Kyungsoo snorts, but still, Baekhyun praising his food with every spoonful makes him warm and giddy all over. “Oh I mean it, everything was delicious… Someone is blushing again,” he singsongs.

“Shut up,” Kyungsoo smiles, trying to dodge Baekhyun's hand from pinching his cheeks. Baekhyun smiles, but moves closer, holding Kyungsoo's nape before everything falls silent again.  

This atmosphere, heavy but cozy at the same time, has been building slowly for the past hours, but Kyungsoo only needs to remember he will be outside, with Baekhyun and all in a few months, to feel at the edge again. Kyungsoo licks his lips in anticipation and when he realizes how Baekhyun stares at them, he goes for a kiss –but not the usual sweet and soft kiss he is already used to. Instead, he gives him a slower and more eager kiss, with nervous hands that run over his suit, not knowing where to stop.

Baekhyun tastes like strawberries and mint, but that has never been more intoxicating than right now.

Soon enough, Baekhyun is reaching for his face, tilting his head to give sloppy, deep kisses. Kyungsoo’s bottom lip is bitten and pulled gently, and that’s when he stands up, trying to drag Baekhyun along with him. Baekhyun is fast to catch up, sliding his hands under the suit to reach for his lower back and pull him closer as they kiss on the hall.

Kyungsoo isn’t sure of what happens next, but suddenly, they are in the bedroom, on his bed, and Baekhyun is straddling his lap and taking away his own clothes. Baekhyun is unfolding everything on the faint light that comes from the hall and sneaks through the door, enough for Kyungsoo to be left in awe. It’s almost as if every part of his body was a reflection of the clothes he uses, those with glitter and stars.

Each part that he exposes is beautiful, making Kyungsoo place gentle kisses in every place he can as Baekhyun tries to get rid of his suit. When he has thrown Kyungsoo’s belt away, he smiles and lets his hands wander over Kyungsoo’s torso before kissing him. But every spot where his fingers hover burns.

Honestly, Kyungsoo doesn’t know what the fuck he is doing, his hands are still clumsy and a bit hesitant of touching places that Baekhyun might not want to be reached yet. Even when taking away his own pants, he is still a mess. But it ceases to matter soon when he lies on his back and Baekhyun accommodates himself between his legs. Baekhyun is still kissing him when he takes his waist and brings his hips up with a single movement. Right there, with that friction, he freezes.

He had not realized how nervous he actually is, or how warm his body feels, especially from the waist down. Baekhyun breaks the kiss, but stays close enough to brush their lips together as he brings his hips up again, with a movement that rails Kyungsoo to the edge.

“What the fuck?” Kyungsoo whispers, and Baekhyun stops, with his shoulders tensing and his eyelashes fluttering. They stay silent until he starts to laugh, blushing by how embarrassing his reaction was. But Baekhyun merely snorts and starts to place small kisses all over his neck, trying to suppress his own chuckles.

 

⁑⁑⁑

 

Kyungsoo is already woken up at the second beep of his Sunday alarm. It’s kind of annoying to turn it off when he would prefer staying like this –lying on his back and under Baekhyun, who is still straddling him and kissing him gently. So he lets it be, and keeps his hands over Baekhyun’s thighs, rubbing his thumbs over his muscles.

The blinds of the main squared window are slightly folded, with the fair light sneaking through the blinds. The Autumn mornings are rather cold, but Baekhyun’s warmth can fill a room, spread until there is no space for feeling troubled by that.

The afterglow has never felt that sweet and wholesome as when he tickles Baekhyun’s sides, making him smile between kisses. Baekhyun’s smile turns mischievous, Kyungsoo can almost hear him mutter ‘my turn’, but before he can do so, Kyungsoo shakes his head.

It’s not that Kyungsoo wouldn’t enjoy it, but it’s getting rather late and there is a life outside the room.

The formal date for them to go is in mid-autumn. That way, with the so changing weather, rangers usually don’t go out in big groups, which would make it easier for Kyungsoo to escape without being seen.

Jongin says he is not the only one escaping from the dome, which relaxes him. But at the same time, there are people that have been planning this for even more time than him. Thus, he needs to be prepared. The Ranger Theoretical Assessment is meant to be open every month, right a week before the departure. There is a lot of to study and a lot to learn in the meantime.

Besides, they are supposed to meet Junmyeon in half an hour, and cleaning, showering and getting ready takes time.

Baekhyun pouts, making Kyungsoo snort because he looks quite handsome and cute doing that. There is something that softens said pout, until Baekhyun’s expression is unreadable. His eyes wander slowly through Kyungsoo’s face and he parts his lips, as if he wanted to voice out something. For the split of a second Kyungsoo believes there is unsteadiness and nervousness in it, but is gone when Baekhyun breathes out.

"I love you,” he says while running his hands through Kyungsoo’s hair.

"I love you too,” Kyungsoo replies without second thoughts, without worries or nervousness, just fondness and excitement.

“I know, “ Baekhyun snorts and smiles widely. In any other situation Kyungsoo would roll his eyes, but right now, he only wants to kiss Baekhyun again.

Eventually, they make it out of the apartment, only to find Junmyeon in the hall with Mongryoung in his arms and pointing to his wristwatch.

 

⁑⁑⁑

 

The high-rail station is not only crowded but really hot, probably the hottest place Kyungsoo has ever been. Which makes sense, but he always expects it to be colder when it’s that big and breezy by design. But not even the big skylight that covers most of the roof helps.

It brings him memories from the first time he stepped inside this dome. When he was 21 and gripped the straps of his backpack before getting off the train –slightly scared, but mostly angry and resentful. Then, as he walked out of the station to get a new home, sadness rushed over again.

The last time he saw his family was in a similar station to this one, but with a completely different feeling underneath. The memory is crystal clear. It’s filled with goodbyes, his mother’s tears, his father’s helplessness, the girls hugging him tightly. Seungsoo was the most composed one, but even he looked worried. Chanyeol, on the other hand, looked the picture as an outsider, nervous and with a trail of guilt on his eyes. But before Kyungsoo could step into the high-rail, he gave him the tightest hug in their lifetime.

And before the doors of the transition room closed, Kyungsoo allowed himself to look at them one last time.

"This is huge,” Baekhyun suddenly says. As expected, his eyes wander through the station without rest.

Kyungsoo hums, but doesn’t feel like talking further about it. Instead, he focuses on the people around them, who are also wearing the ugly one piece green jumpsuit –the trial version. There are people from all ages going from here to there, some ready, some obviously not. Kyungsoo wants to know who is in his same situation, but it would be too risky to ask.

Eventually, Junmyeon arrives with two fresh water bottles for them. Mongryoung, who is trailing ahead of him, wails his tail for Baekhyun and jumps over his leg. Baekhyun smiles sweetly before picking him up.

"How long?” Junmyeon asks turning around to see all the other wannabe rangers and their families.

"Fifteen minutes,” Baekhyun says, but there it is, the blush all over his cheeks and eyes looking misty. He brings his pup closer to his chest and the look in his eyes is too heartbreaking to see.

"Are you about to cry?” Junmyeon snickers while circling Baekhyun’s back as the latter smiles shaking his head. “Don’t cry,” he coos while hugging him tightly. If Kyungsoo has to pick who has the softest spot for Baekhyun, that is and will always be Junmyeon. The latter tries to give him reassuring smiles, but when Baekhyun gets even more flushed, he turns towards Kyungsoo searching for help.

Kyungsoo can’t help this time. Since Baekhyun wants to cry because of him.

“I’m going to miss you,” Baekhyun mumbles. “I’m going to miss Mongryoung too.”

“It’s alright,” Junmyeon says, caressing his nape and back. “Hey, I will take care of him. And since you will have a phone, you will be able to call us anytime. We will be here.”

“Can’t you, I don’t know, sign up at last minute and let me take Mongryoung in my backpack?”

Junmyeon shakes his head with a sad smile. “I like it here, and so does my family, it’s my home.” Junmyeon then tries his best to ease the conversation and joke around, and after two of his bad jokes, Baekhyun is already laughing. Then, there is a rumbling noise, followed by a sharp alarm. The boarding instructions are voiced out through the station.

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath and adjusts the straps of his jumpsuit, which oddly, feels like a Deja Vu. Excitement and nervousness rush towards him, growing a giddy feeling inside his chest. It’s slightly hollow but so uncomfortable at the same time. And perhaps if he wasn’t busy playing with the straps around his waist and fixing his glasses every five seconds, his hands would be shaking.

On the other hand, Baekhyun is too distracted hugging Junmyeon for what it feels like an eternity to feel nervous about boarding. Junmyeon only keeps whispering reassuring words and Kyungsoo is quite sure he is the one that doesn't want to let go.

When Baekhyun shifts his attention to kiss Mongryoung’s head and stroke his fur, Junmyeon turns to Kyungsoo, looking welcoming with his arms already open. When he smiles, Kyungsoo can’t help but reach for that hug. Because even if he doesn’t understand it fully, leaving him feels like leaving part of his family once again. They remain like that for a few seconds.

“Thank you,” Kyungsoo says before letting go. He doesn't specify because that would take more time than what they have now.

“There, there,” Junmyeon smiles warmly and pats his back. “Be safe kids. Call me as soon as you can. Kyungsoo, if you end up in jail, remember I noted my number down inside your sleeve. Call. Me.”

Baekhyun laughs and keeps waving at Junmyeon until they reach the transition room entrance. There, they need to pass one by one and Baekhyun heads up. The feeling inside Kyungsoo’s chest increases when the designated ranger in charge of his group takes his wrist to scan the IC under his skin. For that, he uses a gun-like device, which light is blue and warms Kyungsoo’s wrist after a few seconds of being pressed against his skin. It eventually beeps, and so he steps inside the transition room.

The warm feeling lingers there even when the last person is inside. When Kyungsoo turns around, he spots Junmyeon smiling with flushed, reddened cheeks before the doors close. It’s overwhelming to think about how much he will going to miss him. Junmyeon has been quite important for both, especially for Baekhyun.

They walk through a grey, metallic hall, and as they reach the end, the air in his lungs feels cold, sharp and heavy. It’s not _that_ bothersome, but it’s something new. Baekhyun also feels it and he pulls the collar of the jumpsuit as he inhales deeply.

Kyungsoo doesn’t want to push him and ask him if he is sure about this once again. He would like to remind him that he can always fail the Assesment on purpose and then come back. But Baekhyun has already repeated too many times he has made up his mind. And if he changes his idea eventually, he will find a way to push through. He can always come back to his dome, but oddly, the idea that Baekhyun might drop out anytime seems distant and unthinkable.

“Everything alright?” Kyungsoo asks while walking next to him.

“Of course. And you?”

“I can handle it,” he mutters, but Baekhyun must notice his uneasiness because he takes his hand and grips it tightly.

When they get to the end, only a few steps before reaching the high-rail, he hesitates for a second. Thinking about what outside life truly means to him and how everything will change in a matter of hours is scary but exciting at the same time.

There are things that Kyungsoo can’t understand about the world itself, and he may never do. He might always find a flaw or two, or a million. Wherever he can turn, there will be something bad or stupid or pointless. And the world will keep on turning and it would seem like no one gives an actual shit about it. For five years he kept thinking the same, but then realized quite slowly that things wouldn’t be alright if he didn't let them be alright.

So the change isn’t something terrible or fearsome, if he is willing to try.

Both take a seat at the end of the wagon and stay silent while Kyungsoo tries to weigh the situation all over again. In a few hours, he will be truly outside. With only the helmet in his way to enjoy its true beauty. When the high-rail gets on track, his giddiness intensifies, but a few seconds later, it starts to morph into pure, enjoyable excitement.

“Look.” Baekhyun says poking his side, when he turns, Baekhyun is pointing at the dome panorama melting into the desertic outside one. “It’s so ugly, I want to go back.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t even have to wait for Baekhyun’s expression to change to start laughing. Baekhyun frowns, but then smiles sweetly as he keeps looking at the changing sky.

The light lands prettily on him. How does he manage to look that mesmerizing even in an ugly ranger uniform anyway?

Baekhyun's smile grows bigger, filled with wonder and in Kyungsoo's chest, there is this lingering feeling of confidence that they will make it somehow. Along with the reassurance that, even when the outside is bigger and they will stay 'separated' for awhile, always partying in different ways after Baekhyun reaches his parents' location, there will always be a way of finding each other again. 

“Where have you planned to go after visiting my parents?” he asks after a few minutes in silence.

“Um, I actually don’t have anything planned yet… but what about you? Are you staying with them?”

Baekhyun purses his lips in a thin line and Kyungsoo believes there is a hint of mischief in his eyes when he turns at him. “For awhile. When we find them, I will talk with them, stay a while, but probably let them go after that... ”

“And then?” Kyungsoo mutters. 

Baekhyun shrugs nonchalantly. “Who knows.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gerbera daisies mean a lot of things, but all lean to happiness.  
> Thank you for reading! (Even with that mess towards the end. Sorry that was lowkey rushed, again!) ♡


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